'Super nanny' rubbishes findings
The Press
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Babies who are fussy about what they eat and when they sleep are more likely to grow up to be liars and bullies, a new international study shows.
But New Zealand's version of the Super Nanny, Cantabrian Clare Halliburton, says the study is "rubbish" as most fussy infants turn out to be lovely, well-adjusted teens.
Halligan is a former Karitane nurse of more than 20 years experience who runs a thriving international correspondence school training nannies in England, America, Canada and Asia. She also provides "baby boot camps" for Christchurch parents struggling to understand their baby's behaviour.
Her dismissive comments relate to a study published recently in the Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, and based on a Chicago University study tracking nearly 2000 children from birth to age 13.
The study's authors argue that children's behaviour as moody, difficult children followed them through to their teens.
Fussy babies were more likely to grow into tiny tyrants who ruled the roost at home and were often in trouble at school, the study said.
The study defined fussy babies as those who refused, or took a long time to feed, were hungry or tired at different times each day, were constantly demanding attention or would not sleep in the evenings and through the night.
Some American child behaviour experts have suggested this research supports the case for strict regimes for children where fussiness is not tolerated.
Halliburton disagrees.
She said babies younger than a year old were not mature enough to be intentionally fussy and parents needed to work around their baby's natural routine.
"If they are pushing food away it's not because they are difficult or will turn out to be bad children, it's just that they don't want it."
It was impossible to apply strict routines to children under six months old because they simply did not understand them.
"For example, when they don't want to eat, sometimes it's a physical rather than a behavioural thing. Solid food sometimes makes them gag when it touches the back of their throat when they first start eating or they don't like the texture. They aren't being fussy as we adults understand it."
Halliburton said there were a lot of factors which shaped a baby's personality, not the least parenting.
"We are all a product of our environment. Behavioural problems, I believe, are mostly about poor parenting throughout the child's life rather than a fussy child."
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Mother Guilt, and why we need to stop it...
Both the nanny and the scientists would benefit from reading a book called "The mad mad myths of parenting" by Susan Jeffers.
Although this is just a book written by a renowned psychologist, she addresses the problems society seems to have with the parents when children don't turn out as well as expected. In her book she points out that an adult human being is a person made up of their parent's genetics, their parent's raising of them and ALSO the environment they are surrounded by.... this includes other relatives, friends, school, work, etc... in fact, most of what shapes a person into the adult that they are has only 50% to do with parenting and the other 50% is made up of all the other factors I just mentioned. I can't argue with or dispute her findings.... I feel myself that my parents were only half the reason I turned out the way I did. Good and bad life decisions, my physical genetics, (a mix of mum and dad by the way, it's not all mum!) and the way the world impacts on my life are the rest of what makes me "me".
I know this is not the most eloquent way to say this, but this annoys the crap outta me and so many other mums out there (especially when other women and mothers do this to us) - "Mother Guilt Syndrome" is the most pathetic and lame excuse for society to point the finger when, realistically, society itself is responsible for a large part of how children turn out as adults, based on their early experiences with society. Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, mothers suffer the blame for everything their wayward or well-behaved kids may do, either as children or adults.... Ridiculous really, when we are taught that as adults, we are responsible for everything we do (not our parents). So to blame parents or lack of parenting skill as an end-all solution or reason for turning out not-so-well-behaved adults is erroneous. I find it so moronic how folks are so keen to blame mother every time an adult turns out bad, yet fathers or even the rest of society are completely ignored! So next time I see a child whack another one over the head with their tonka truck in the sandpit, I'm going to pity his/her mum, not blame her! After all, the kid was the one who did it, not the mum! And in most situations the mother would certainly NOT instruct her child to act that way.
Serial killers and sex offenders may once have had a mother who loved them. Try to remember that if your child or someone else's child you know is going down a bad road... you are only half responsible for how that child turns out and perhaps even less than that if you consider the father, child's friends and relatives, and the rest of society have a role in raising that child.
Nannies like the lady above need a reality check. If one of her beloved grandbabies turns out to be the next Ted Bundy, is she going to blame her son or daughter for their parenting ability? I don't think so somehow, yet it's all too easy to say "well it's the parents' fault" or "lack of parenting ability" when faced with someone else's life... a classic example of prejudice we all get sick and tired of hearing. In fact, I think that same Nanny would be hard-pressed to give a reason if it really happened.... perhaps she'd blame society, tv, alcohol or drugs? Yet the rest of us are just not very effective parents? Um, excuse me?!? And LOL!
My apologies for such a long-winded response, and thanks to all those who took the time to read it.... It's just that I feel so strongly about people who are rude enough to make thoughtless judgments on folks without first checking out all their facts.
If fussy babies are more likely to become liars and bullies - it could be as a result of the lack of discipline parents give to their children.
The mistake that some parents make is giving their children what they want all of the time - thus making them tyrants.
i whole heartdly agree with clare poor parenting attributes to childrens behaviour not a fussy child. my three children have always had very different eating habits but they are three well adjusted respectful law abiding teenagers and this is due to my hubbys and i brilliant parenting skills.there are too many children and teenagers that are badly behaved which is due to their parents not caring or giving a toss about where they are what they are doing. me and my husband are lucky we know where ours are day and night but they do have their freedom as well we dont and have never wrapped them in cotten wool. it isnt easy being a parent children don,t come with instruction manuals and every child is different even siblings so do your best as a parent listen to them understand their needs and enjoy being parents and make the most of it they grow up too quickly
Another non-story - both sides are basically saying the same thing:
Halliburton says: "most fussy infants turn out to be lovely, well-adjusted teens" translation: most don't grow up to be "liars and bullies"
Study says: in "Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology" - "Babies who are fussy ... are more likely to grow up to be liars and bullies" translation: most don't grow up to be "liars and bullies"
Slow news day is it?
Although i fundamentally agree with you, it might pay for you to have the finest of grammar, spelling, punctuation and the appropriate wording for your argument before calling other people stupid.
You lose all credibility when you come across as slightly challenged also.
Maryanne now, I know the 7th child of a 7th child is supposed to be something supernaturally significant - is it something to do with vampires? What does that make the 7th of a 7th of a 7th child??? Do you owe it to the Universe to have six more children?
I've tried to read the actual study, but the journal wants money :(.
So without seeing the numbers behind "more likely" and just how fussy fussy real is, I'll have to go with Clare.
Petra is spot on. Anecdotal evidence is worthless against a study of this size and quality. And Sam - don't take it personally!!
Of course not all fussy kids will become liars and bullies. The point is that more on average more will than a non fussy child.
Its like the smoker telling you that smoking does not cause cancer because his uncle lived to 95 and he smoked since he was 12.
I sometime despair at peoples lack of scientific knowledge or even statistics.
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There are always people who will blame the parents and there are always people who want some scientific evidence though neither one will ever please the other