Forever changed

A young wife and mother remembered

WARREN GAMBLE

Six months ago, Mark Maynard's wife, Kelly, died.

On February 22, seemingly a regular Tuesday morning, Kelly, 43, left her husband and two young daughters Molly, 4, and Matilda, 3, to go to her part-time job in the PGC building.

She never came home.

At 12.51pm, the devastating earthquake hit, bringing the building down and killing 17 people. In an instant, her family's life was changed forever.

Today, on the six-month anniversary of the earthquake, Maynard talks to The Press about his wife, staying in Christchurch, and how he wants to do everything he can for his daughters.

He picks through a box of hairclips as his two young daughters clamber on the couch.

"Hair can be a struggle," says Mark Maynard as he tries to keep Matilda, 3, and Molly, 4, still long enough to get their locks under control.

He never used to do their hair; his wife, Kelly, did most of the hands-on daily parenting.

But that all changed six months ago when Kelly went to her part-time job at the PGC building in central Christchurch and never came home.

She died with 17 others as the building collapsed in the February 22 earthquake. She was 43.

Mark Maynard could dwell on the many twists of circumstance which sealed his wife's fate.

She started work at Perpetual on the first floor of the building the week before the earthquake. She worked only Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Fridays (the quake was on a Tuesday).

She should have been on her 12.30pm-1pm lunch break when the quake hit at 12.51pm, but had taken only 10 minutes because she wanted to finish some work.

But Mark does not focus on the what-ifs.

"To me, Kelly was a wee bit unlucky.

"You can't turn back the clock. What's happened, happened. I just have to make life good for these girls now; that's my job.

"Life goes on. You have got no choice."

He has his hands full, juggling his reduced hours as a carpet salesman with the demands of two bubbly, energetic daughters.

During our interview, they play hairdressers, sing songs, and change into Barbie princess dresses. Molly puts on a Dora the Explorer DVD, and complains that she can't hear because we are talking too much.

Mark does not shy away from talking about Kelly.

"Where's Mummy?" he asks Molly.

"In heaven," she says.

A few days after the earthquake, Mark took the girls to the tilted, twisted wreck of the PGC building as it was being demolished. Up until then he had told them Kelly had to stay at work to clean up after the earthquake.

"I just said: `Mummy's not coming home.' They had drawn some pictures for her. We gave them to one of the demolition guys and he took them up to the building.

"It was pretty hard for them to understand. Even now, when we are driving past collapsed buildings they say, `that's like Mummy's building'.

"They are at a good age when they can get through things. If they were 8 or 9 it would be a bit tough, I think. They come into bed and say a prayer for Mummy and think she's up there with Ronnie [her old Maltese terrier] and uncles and great grandparents."

Mark and Kelly knew of each other growing up in Invercargill, but had met only in passing.

It was 2004 in Wellington when they met again. Kelly was working for the Public Trust in the capital, and Mark – who had moved to Christchurch – was up for the weekend to attend the Wellington Sevens rugby.

They met in an Irish bar and hit it off.

Kelly joined him in Christchurch three months later, and they were married in 2005.

They had their two beautiful girls, and were just getting past the frantic first years of parenting. Kelly was excited about returning to part-time work.

"We were just at that next stage when you are bringing the kids up and having fun.

"She was just a caring, good woman. She was a great mum. She put other people first. She would do anything for anyone else."

On February 22, Kelly called Mark five minutes before the quake to say she had left her cellphone at home if he was trying to reach her.

Mark was at the Carpet Court Kaiapoi office when the quake hit. He went to check on their Bishopdale house before Kelly was due home at 3pm.

He picked up the girls from their preschool on his bike because the roads were already crammed.

Kelly's job was so new he did not know exactly where she worked.

"On TV they mentioned Perpetual were on the first floor of the PGC building, and I rang my brother [Peter]. I thought, `bugger'."

The brothers went in that night, but police stopped them at a cordon on the corner of Colombo St and Cambridge Tce, about 50 metres from the PGC building.

They walked around Hagley Park looking for Kelly among the thousands of dazed people. Despite their distress, they ended up taking home five Australians, who had been attending a medical conference and whose hotels were damaged.

After another day without word of Kelly, Mark got to the PGC site.

"As soon as I saw the building I knew. She was just ...

Kelly's funeral was on March 14, two days before what would have been her 44th birthday, and three days before her favourite day of the year, St Patricks Day.

"She used to like going out then."

Celebration was the last thing they felt like but Mark and a few others went out for a few quiet drinks in her honour.

Mark Maynard says the support of family, friends and strangers has been amazing.

Kelly's parents and a sister live nearby, as do his brothers Peter and Michael. His parents have been up often from Invercargill, and are considering moving north.

"If you didn't have family it would be tough," Mark says.

Peter Maynard nominated him for a Radio Sport competition for quake-hit Cantabrians to watch the Crusaders play in London in late March. He was selected and had just over a day to get organised for the whirlwind trip, during which he also attended a memorial service in Westminster Abbey.

He and the girls have also been on a sponsored trip to Tauranga, which he says was "bloody fantastic".

Meals have been dropped off, his employer has allowed him to work hours that enable him to look after the girls, and there are weekly dinners with Kelly's sister. He is grateful for donations to a trust fund for his daughters, and to Perpetual, which has set up a separate fund for the family.

"I can't think too much of what more people can do [to help]," Mark says.

"You have just got to make the most of it from now on. You get some bad cards in your life."

Among them are the early deaths of two of his brothers and his sister's cerebral palsy.

"Life's made of ups and downs but you get through things. There's always someone else worse off."

When the September 4 quake struck last year, Mark woke up and said "what the hell is that?" "Kelly said, `it's an earthquake', and I said, `we don't have earthquakes here'."

Despite everything, including the thousands of rumbles since February, Mark is staying in Christchurch.

"I can't see the point of running away. One day these kids will have a fantastic city."

He keeps the same positive outlook in the short term.

"I just don't think you can go around angry."

Kelly used to tease him she would go away for a weekend to see how he would get on with the girls.

He laughs about a sole-charge weekend with Molly when he managed to lock himself out of the house, and Molly fell down the steps while he was watching a horse race.

"[Kelly] never did go away for that weekend. But if she's looking down, I think she will be saying `you are doing OK'."

- © Fairfax NZ News