I watched The Watchmen ... and yawned

BY CHRIS SCHULZ
Last updated 10:47 05/03/2009

SilkI don't get it. What's all the fuss about? Isn't The Watchmen supposed to be some kind of bible for comic book geeks? Am I missing something?

Yep, I watched The Watchmen last night. And yawned. A lot. It was at iMax, which makes it even worse because I love iMax movies. I saw The Dark Knight there twice.

So I feel a little guilty about it, and I'm ready to be flamed. I'm owning up to the fact that I didn't read the comics beforehand. Just like most of the four years I spent at university - cheers, Student Loans - I did very little research.

Perhaps I should have given my ticket to someone who cares.

As a stand-alone movie, The Watchmen fails. Sometimes the best way to see a film is to go in knowing nothing. Not this one. I was bored to tears. It's way too long. There's far too much talking. It tries to be more important than it is. And I'll get back to you about the plot when I've worked it out.

The characters range between a giant naked blue guy, a man with a sock over his face, a really bad comedian, a version of President Nixon with a nose twice the size it should be, and an obligatory hot chick in latex.

And the CGI ranges between excellent (check out the cool snow tiger at the end) and appalling (the giant mechanical engine thingee on Mars looks 2D in places).

I understand it's trying to be a deep, dark, complex superhero movie with lots to say about the end of the world, nuclear warfare, and the place of superheroes in a world that doesn't care for them.

It even takes a not-so-subtle dig at George W Bush's tenure at the top.

But. I. Just. Don't. Get. It. After The Dark Knight, it all just kind of seems pointless. They didn't even use that cool Smashing Pumpkins remix that made the trailer so awesome.

The best thing about The Watchmen is the cool opening credits, which insert various superheroes into iconic moments in history, all filmed in slow motion. Yep, just like Forrest Gump.

It's pretty awesome. The rest of it? Meh.

Someone in Hollywood once said The Watchmen was unmakeable as a movie. If only they could unmake it.

Anyone got a copy of the comic I can borrow?

75 comments
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Label   #1   11:22 am Mar 05 2009

Wow. Your geek cred just took a hit. A big one.

JeM   #2   11:36 am Mar 05 2009

My hubby told me off for referring to it as a comic. Apparently it is a "graphic novel"...

According to him (and he is very wise...) it was never meant to be made into a movie and that was the point of it being a graphic novel - doing in words and pics what could not be conveyed properly any other way.

Then I fell asleep so not sure what he said after that.

Needless to say, he's going to the movie without me.

Nick Willis   #3   12:14 pm Mar 05 2009

n00b

David Godfree   #4   12:17 pm Mar 05 2009

you should have given me your ticket lol the graphic novel is amazing its not all just fighting and radioactive blue guy there is a really amazing story to it. I don't normally read graphic novels but watchmen is something else its a truly amazing story that everyone should read. I figured this would be a movie that people that have read it first would enjoy it more. The story is so huge that they had 2 cut out a story that was inside the graphic novel which was tales of the black freighter which was animated and put onto dvd (to be released in april). I can't wait to see the movie but i don't think it will be anything as mind blowing as Dark Knight

Updated   #5   12:18 pm Mar 05 2009

So, The Incredibles is still the best Superhero flick?

I'm not holding my breath for this one, much like The Mutant Chronicals, it will be a Sunday afternoon, while the kids are alseep movie for me.

Though I am interested in Conan, 2010, for some ultra-real sword swinging muscled upp grunt. Be interesting to see who they cast.

Also, I wonder what Dark Horse Comics is giving treatment to now that Warner Bros (? could be Universal) have "first look" rights. They have already done The Mask...maybe Goons?

FlukeArtist   #6   12:30 pm Mar 05 2009

I really didn't get what the big deal with the DarkKnight was either. That was painted to be something it wasn't as far as i'm concerned. I've watched it more than once, and its OK, but not the amazing be-all-and-end-all of comic book movies. IronMan was way more refreshing. Maybe Batman has been filmed one too many times.

Watchmen as a stand alone book is amazing. I haven't seen the movie yet, but as with the vast majority books, the movie is never quite as good. I'm not expecting the film to be as good.

Yarrko NIemanen   #7   12:51 pm Mar 05 2009

You often make bold statements on your blog Chris, which is awesome I love bold statements. Usually there is some kind of logic or thought behind it. But with this blog I have lost a lot of respect for you my man. The graphic novel is amazing truly amazing, you could at least read the wiki page if you can't be bothered reading it yourself. Lazy journalism mate and being unable to follow the plot of a movie is an inside thought not something to be shared by a guy who is an entertainment editor is his blog (unless you work at a women's mag). I half suspect you have written this just to cause and a stir and get the hits for stuff.

Jared   #8   12:57 pm Mar 05 2009

Sweet! Didnt miss anything then

BathTub   #9   01:05 pm Mar 05 2009

I just think Comic Book is a fairly generic term, and hardly describes the difference between the regular 20-30 page book you may pick up each month, and a 1 inch thick tome like compiled Watchmen book.

I don't think anyone expects everyone to love the movie, a lot of us are just hoping that the film is a fairly accurate and respectful adaption of Moore's work. Unlike say The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen for example, which really only took the name and concept and not much else.

Agog   #10   01:09 pm Mar 05 2009

Well here's a flaming.

Funny how you use "Forrest Gump" as a touchstone; it shows what kind of 'insight' we're dealing with here.

"I'm owning up to the fact that I didn't read the comics beforehand"

Good to finally hear a media admitting to crap research and laziness.

"After The Dark Knight, it all seems pointless".

LOL. I guess they should have just stopped making movies after Citizen Kane then, right?

Yarrko Niemanen is quite right. Although I think the negativity of this review has more to do with a "too-cool-for-you" reviewer's arrogance.


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