Is it you or is it me? Or Zac or Josh or Murray or that kid Rachel and Chris have adopted? Who is the dude (we all assume it's a guy - maybe it was Sarah...) that attacked Roimata?
I would say "all will be revealed on Friday", but everyone knows Shortland Street never makes things that easy.
After 20 years of edge-of-your-seat stuff, the question marks that hang over the annual Shorty cliff-hanger are now as traditional as rain on Christmas Day.
Whether it's a truck crash, an explosion, evil villains pushing their luck or longing lovers finally reunited, the year's final episode is always a highlight for fans of the soap.
There have been some great ones, and hopefully this Friday's is just as gripping.
I was meant to finish my Christmas shopping this weekend. Get it all out of the way: spend hundreds of dollars achieving a spot on my high horse that would let me gloat about how efficient I was, and free up the next three weekends for better uses of my time.
Did I tick any of that off the list? Not even a little bit. Instead, the call of the sun was far too loud - on Saturday at least (bloody Auckland weather).
Instead of stocking up on mince pies at the supermarket, I was loading my arms with stuffed peppers and homemade dips from the La Cigale French market, which was happily celebrating its 15th anniversary.
Rather than joining the throngs fighting for space in the local mall, I ended up sipping cider and making daisy chains at Silo Park as it marked the countdown to Christmas - that new advent calendar is marvellously massive!
It was a celebration, not of the suffocating Christmas madness that is threatening to overwhelm us, but of the first weekend of summer. A weekend when we realised just what's ahead: the chance to explore Auckland, find our favourite spots, get comfy and watch the summer unwind.
Fibs, Half truths, telling stories, white lies. No matter what you call it, a lie is still a lie. But is a lie bad? It turns out, not so much for young Kiwis.
According to a recent survey of 500 New Zealanders aged between 18 and 30, almost 90 per cent of us think it's OK to lie, cheat or steal ... at least occasionally.
The stats range from the small, almost expected cheating in card and board games (92 per cent), more than half of us admitted to cheating on high school homework, a quarter at University work and one in five cheat in the odd combination of relationships and/or sport.
And that's just the half of it. Some of the numbers are actually quite scary, especially when 87 per cent of people surveyed said they are satisfied with their personal ethics and character.
But there seems to be a reason for this "it's OK to do the wrong thing" mentality.
November 17, 2012, 10.34am. More than a month before Christmas; that was when I heard my first Christmas song in my local shopping mall this year.
I shouldn't have been surprised really. After all, the tinsel and trees had been up for at least a fortnight. Talks were taking place to get us all excited for whatever festival fixtures Auckland is about to see - giant advent calendars by the sea, oversized sparkling Christmas trees in Victoria Park, local celebs turning out in force to entertain in another park, and of course Mr "Creepy" Santa perched on the side of Whitcoulls.
But you don't except the soundtrack to kick in quite so soon. It's at least a couple of weeks before all that other stuff starts flashing and shimmering.
Surely there should be a rule that we have to at least wait until this weekend is done and dusted. It is, after all, a marker for yuletide cheer's official okay.
It's Santa Parade time. Dancing girls stand side-by-side with Santa and his helpers as they make their way down the main street of the city.
Radiohead vs. Coldplay. Coldplay vs. Radiohead. This week was full of major #firstworldproblems. Who is the better band? Who should we/would we be more excited to see? Who's the biggest band in the world?
We don't get a lot of big shows here in an average year. But somehow, in the last week we have had some huge names come say "helloooo New Zealaaaand" in the way only rock stars can. And none more so than these two.
Arguably, these are the two biggest bands in the world. Although, in the process of writing just these first few sentences I have been berated for A: even considering liking Coldplay ("that is so embarrassing") and B: thinking either of them are the biggest band in the world.
Even if they aren't, they're big enough, and having been lucky enough to see both of them play last week, it's hard to call who came out on top.
I have been a fan of both for almost the same amount of time. I have loved and not loved albums from each of them. It just so happens liking one is totally acceptable, and the other is street-cred suicide.
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