Counselling service can help new migrants settling in NZ

SCOTT MORGAN

A counselling service is calling for new migrants to seek help if they're having difficulty adjusting to life in New Zealand.

Home and Family counsellor Lynn Yang, who is fluent in Mandarin, wants new migrants to get assistance after the tragic deaths of four members of a Korean family in Christchurch recently.

"A lot of them can feel helpless and isolated," she says.

Ms Yang says family pressure is one major cause of tension among new Asian migrants.

"In the family, they're used to the husband going out to work and earning the money. That system doesn't work here.

"Sometimes the wife gets a better job. This can cause relationship problems."

Maintaining their culture, getting qualifications recognised for employment purposes, changing education systems and adapting to the New Zealand way of life are other aspects that new migrants of all generations often struggle with.

‘‘Parents often want to hold on to the Chinese culture, but children can be quite rebellious. In-law relationships can also create conflicts,’’ Ms Yang says.

‘‘When similar things happen in China they’ve got the support network from the extended family. To only depend on each other creates a huge demand on each other.

‘‘It’s difficult when they have conflicts and there’s nowhere else to go.’’

Ms Yang suggests counselling is a good way for migrants to work through their problems, though getting them to seek help can be a challenge.

‘‘Normally Chinese people don’t like to seek help, especially psychological help as it has a stigma.

‘‘They don’t believe in talking. The idea is culturally people should learn to be tough and carry the burden by themselves.’’

But she says in the longterm that attitude isn’t a healthy one.

‘‘Sometimes you do need to encourage them to come to counselling. After a few sessions they realise we can help,’’ she says.

The mother-of-two, who runs counselling sessions in Mt Eden and on the North Shore, says she found it easier to adjust to New Zealand life after studying western culture at university.

Migrant Action Trust spokeswoman Agnes Granada says feeling isolated is a problem among many new migrants.

‘‘Often they’ve got no one to talk to.’’

She says the trust encourages new migrants to step outside their own boundaries and interact with their neighbours or other people in their local community, though that can take years.

‘‘Their network can be very limited. We encourage them to open up.’’

For more information on  Home and Family Counselling visit www.homeand family.org.nz or to find out more about the Migrant Action Trust visit www.migrantactiontrust.org.nz.

- © Fairfax NZ News