Guys lay hearts open
A talk by the parents of murder victim Scott Guy reduced members of North Harbour Rotary Club to tears.
Jo and Bryan Guy were invited to speak to club members following the release of their book about life after Scott's death.
Bryan says they get as much out of telling their story as the people listening do.
Jo says it feels like you are giving part of your heart to the audience.
"It is a good feeling as well. It is hard to talk about personal things, but it's worth it."
Bryan and Jo teamed up with author Tony Farrington to write about how they coped with the murder of Scott, who was shot outside his Feilding home in the early morning darkness of July 8, 2010.
Last year, a High Court jury found Scott's brother-in-law Ewen Macdonald not guilty of his murder.
Scott Guy: His parents' story of love, betrayal, murder and courage has sold out since it was released in October and a second printing is in the works.
The Guys agree it is better to talk. Bryan says their positive attitude is a survival mechanism. "You can't afford to hold things in," he says. "You get bitter and twisted."
Jo says there have been times when they would much rather "run into the hills and grow vegetables", but have kept strong for their grandchildren.
Bryan and Jo often meet people who want to share their own stories.
They were approached by a man whose son had drowned after one of the book launches.
He had never been able to speak about his loss and told the Guys he was going to go home and talk to his wife about it. Bryan says when talking to parents who have lost a child, they always ask the child's name.
"They're still part of our families and part of our lives," he says. "We've never going to get over it, we don't want to get over it."
Bryan says they never mind being stopped and told stories.
"We don't have all the answers but we do have a lot of empathy."
North Shore Times