Cowell baby mama upsets his harem
Simon Cowell has some explaining to do.
No, not to the mate whose wife he just got pregnant. That would be a breeze compared to the awkward conversation he'll have to have with his "harem" about Lauren Silverman.
Cowell has dated and bedded a lot of women: Zeta Graff, Terri Seymour, Paula Abdul, Jackie St Clair and Dannii Minogue are just a few of his past conquests. And yet, they still hang around him after he's moved on.
Every year the X Factor supremo takes a bevvy of beautiful women on holiday to some island paradise.
The group usually includes whoever he's ...ahem, dating, a mystery blonde and one or two of his ex-girlfriends. This January his entourage included ex-WAG Lizzie Cundy, ex-girlfriend Sinitta and ex-fiancée Mezhgan Hussainy.
Suffice to say they all hate each other but Cowell's sexual magnetism, or extremely large bank account depending on how cynical you are, manages to keep them from scrapping in public.
Mind you, sometimes the loathing surfaces. Check out the video below of Lauren with Cowell and Hussainy last year (Lauren's in the blue). Tension. Cut. Knife.
Sinitta has been the first of the harem to react publicly. She tweeted two days before the news broke: "Something has just happened ..half miracle, half nightmare! #WakeMeUpIWantToGetOff"
All of which could be read as a bit of gentle ribbing. Or that she really does want to get off the Cowell nightmare express.
According to Mail Online, the rest of Cowell's harem is furious with Silverman for upsetting the pecking order.
"The other girls can't believe that she is the one who has [got his baby]. They've all met her, they know who she is and they have been reduced to tears by this," an un-named friend of Cowell's told the website.
"She [Lauren] has apparently been going around telling people for the last three to six months that she is going to have his baby. Simon has been very stressed in the last few months with his various shows and juggling everything that he has in his life.
"In the harem hierarchy, Lauren is regarded as the fun, party girl."
If only Cowell's harem could be more like David Walliams, his friend and co-judge on Britain's Got Talent. He tweeted:
"@SimonCowell is doing a baby with a lady."
"@SimonCowell and I tried to have a baby together for many years. But I just couldn't get pregnant."