Joe Bennett
How PR manages the media
OPINION: Joe Bennett takes a sneak peek inside a mythical public relations agency as it congratulates itself on its recent success with the Royal Wedding and Osama bin Laden.
The art of getting rich quick
JOE BENNETT - © Fairfax NZ News
OPINION: Joe's get-rich-quick scheme involves becoming an abstract artist.
Chaos reduced to a rubble
BY JOE BENNETT - © Fairfax NZ News
OPINION: The news is like Pacman. It consumes what's in front of it, then moves on to the next morsel.
You can't give offence, it can only be taken
BY JOE BENNETT - © Fairfax NZ News
OPINION: I rejoice at the destruction of a cookbook.
Wurst side of Swiss nature
BY JOE BENNETT - © Fairfax NZ News
OPINION: Alert readers may have noticed a common thread to the major news stories of the week.
Fight night in Courtenay Place
BY JOE BENNETT - © Fairfax NZ News
OPINION: The wind scythed around corners and went for the marrow. Yet the pavements were thick with girls wearing little, girls dressed for sex.
The art of sucking people in
BY JOE BENNETT - © Fairfax NZ News
OPINION: No, no, no, no, exclaimed the secretary of state for the tiny Pacific island of Columnia, "of course our president didn't write those lines himself. He's a president, not a comedian. The lines were supplied by the scriptwriters at TVNZ.
Gloved fairytale
BY JOE BENNETT - © Fairfax NZ News
OPINION: Michael Jackson is now dancing with God. (If you don't like that fairytale, pick your own.)
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Judge Joe lays down the law
BY JOE BENNETT - © Fairfax NZ News
OPINION: The young men trooped into the dock. They hung their heads. Their chins rested against their properly knotted school ties. Their shoulders, encased in blazers, slumped.
Lots to work on, admits Kiri
BY JOE BENNETT - © Fairfax NZ News
OPINION: All Blacks anthem coach Dame Kiri Te Kanawa has acknowledged that the team failed to learn the lessons from the first test against the Springboks.
Papa Joe's words of wisdom
BY JOE BENNETT - © Fairfax NZ News
OPINION: My parents passed on no wisdom. I don't know how they resisted the urge.
On the frontlines with G Force
BY JOE BENNETT - © Fairfax NZ News
OPINION: Dawn. The commander stood in silence on the plain. It was bone-snapping cold.
How to cook up a good scoop
BY JOE BENNETT - © Fairfax NZ News
OPINION: Entertainment in a trillion shoddy forms buzzes around us at all times, seeking entry by any orifice.
Well coach, I must be sick
© Fairfax NZ News
OPINION: Joe Bennett investigates the golden road to holistic health.
The world's your lobster
BY JOE BENNETT - © Fairfax NZ News
OPINION: I'm not going to attend the G20 summit in London. I simply can't be bothered.
Making sense of modern rugby
BY JOE BENNETT - © Fairfax NZ News
OPINION: Things change, and it is the duty of crusty old men to bemoan change.
Struck wordless by futility
BY JOE BENNETT - © Fairfax NZ News
OPINION: Sunday afternoon, when time drags like a wet mattress. What better to shift the mattress, to kill the time, than Scrabble?
No place for the squeamish
BY JOE BENNETT - © Fairfax NZ News
OPINION: There may well be protocols to eating in China. I never discovered them. As far as I could tell, the only rule was to get stuck in.
The trouble with being clever
By JOE BENNETT
© Fairfax NZ News
OPINION: Did you see the clever child? Oh it was awful. He was so precocious and so very unwisely happy. But let me begin at the beginning.
Diary of an articulate boy racer
By JOE BENNETT
© Fairfax NZ News
OPINION: WAKE at 10. Fetching coffee and the paper, I reflect on last night. Wonder whether our burnouts will have made the front page.
South London attack a possible terrorism act
Has Home and Away jumped the shark? (spoiler)
Henry officially sanctioned over comments
Shoplifter nicked without knickers
Elderly woman 'abandoned' on couch
Best & worst of the fest: Day eight
Nasa cooks up 3D-printed food idea
Air New Zealand flew shark fins