Joe Bennett

How PR manages the media

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OPINION: Joe Bennett takes a sneak peek inside a mythical public relations agency as it congratulates itself on its recent success with the Royal Wedding and Osama bin Laden.

The art of getting rich quick

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JOE BENNETT - The Press

OPINION: Joe's get-rich-quick scheme involves becoming an abstract artist.

Chaos reduced to a rubble

BY JOE BENNETT - The Dominion Post

OPINION: The news is like Pacman. It consumes what's in front of it, then moves on to the next morsel.

You can't give offence, it can only be taken

BY JOE BENNETT - The Dominion Post

OPINION: I rejoice at the destruction of a cookbook.

Wurst side of Swiss nature

BY JOE BENNETT - The Dominion Post

OPINION: Alert readers may have noticed a common thread to the major news stories of the week.

Fight night in Courtenay Place

Bus Timetables

BY JOE BENNETT - The Dominion Post

OPINION: The wind scythed around corners and went for the marrow. Yet the pavements were thick with girls wearing little, girls dressed for sex.

The art of sucking people in

BY JOE BENNETT - The Dominion Post

OPINION: No, no, no, no, exclaimed the secretary of state for the tiny Pacific island of Columnia, "of course our president didn't write those lines himself. He's a president, not a comedian. The lines were supplied by the scriptwriters at TVNZ.

Gloved fairytale

BY JOE BENNETT - The Dominion Post

OPINION: Michael Jackson is now dancing with God. (If you don't like that fairytale, pick your own.)

Judge Joe lays down the law

BY JOE BENNETT - The Dominion Post

OPINION: The young men trooped into the dock. They hung their heads. Their chins rested against their properly knotted school ties. Their shoulders, encased in blazers, slumped.

Lots to work on, admits Kiri

BY JOE BENNETT - The Dominion Post

OPINION: All Blacks anthem coach Dame Kiri Te Kanawa has acknowledged that the team failed to learn the lessons from the first test against the Springboks.

Papa Joe's words of wisdom

Bus Timetables

BY JOE BENNETT - The Dominion Post

OPINION: My parents passed on no wisdom. I don't know how they resisted the urge.

On the frontlines with G Force

BY JOE BENNETT - The Dominion Post

OPINION: Dawn. The commander stood in silence on the plain. It was bone-snapping cold.

How to cook up a good scoop

BY JOE BENNETT - The Dominion Post

OPINION: Entertainment in a trillion shoddy forms buzzes around us at all times, seeking entry by any orifice.

Well coach, I must be sick

The Dominion Post

OPINION: Joe Bennett investigates the golden road to holistic health.

The world's your lobster

BY JOE BENNETT - The Dominion Post

OPINION: I'm not going to attend the G20 summit in London. I simply can't be bothered.

Making sense of modern rugby

BY JOE BENNETT - The Dominion Post

OPINION: Things change, and it is the duty of crusty old men to bemoan change.

Struck wordless by futility

BY JOE BENNETT - The Dominion Post

OPINION: Sunday afternoon, when time drags like a wet mattress. What better to shift the mattress, to kill the time, than Scrabble?

No place for the squeamish

BY JOE BENNETT - The Dominion Post

OPINION: There may well be protocols to eating in China. I never discovered them. As far as I could tell, the only rule was to get stuck in.

The trouble with being clever

By JOE BENNETT

The Dominion Post

OPINION: Did you see the clever child? Oh it was awful. He was so precocious and so very unwisely happy. But let me begin at the beginning.

Diary of an articulate boy racer

By JOE BENNETT

The Dominion Post

OPINION: WAKE at 10. Fetching coffee and the paper, I reflect on last night. Wonder whether our burnouts will have made the front page.

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