So January Jones ate her placenta. What they never tell you is what it tastes like.
OPINION: After a two-day visit to Planet Zappa, it's clear he was never a genius, writes Grant Smithies.
SIMON CUNLIFFE - © Fairfax NZ NewsOPINION: Labour MP Jacinda Ardern's credentials are challenged.
OPINION: Let me tell you what made me an antisocial, godless, illiterate criminal: comics.
OPINION: Alan Bollard is not, by all accounts, barking mad. Which is why the Reserve Bank is unlikely to hike interest rates today, writes Vernon Small.
OPINION: Not a lot cheers you up in freezing weather, with icy cold creeping up through floorboards – but cyclists are good value writes Rosemary McLeod.
OPINION: Joe Bennett takes a sneak peek inside a mythical public relations agency as it congratulates itself on its recent success with the Royal Wedding and Osama bin Laden.
KARL DU FRESNE - © Fairfax NZ NewsOPINION: Remember the euphoria that greeted the announcement that New Zealand would host the Rugby World Cup 2011? Well, it's rapidly evaporating.
JOE BENNETT - © Fairfax NZ NewsOPINION: Joe's get-rich-quick scheme involves becoming an abstract artist.
CHRIS TROTTER - © Fairfax NZ NewsOPINION: The Government's decision to rush through the remaining stages of the Marine and Coastal Area Bill is as ill-considered as it is dangerous.
OPINION: Illegal drugs make gangs bigger, richer and stronger, and overseas evidence shows that increasing law enforcement only inflates the situation.
LINLEY BONIFACE - © Fairfax NZ NewsOPINION: Some people say romance is dead. If it isn't, I'd like to gun it down.
COLIN JAMES - © Fairfax NZ NewsOPINION: The report on the Marine and Coastal Area Bill replacing the Foreshore and Seabed Act is a parliamentary collectors' item.
KARL DU FRESNE - © Fairfax NZ NewsOPINION: More pressing questions for our times.
BY JANE BOWRON - © Fairfax NZ NewsOPINION: I really did try my best to care about Alec Ross and his quest for truth and freedom in This is Not My Life, but after the first episode the show was a chore to watch.
BY CHRIS TROTTER - © Fairfax NZ NewsOPINION: What's going on? At the local government level voters execute a sudden lurch to the Left, while nationwide opinion polls show them simultaneously clinging to the Right.
BY JOE BENNETT - © Fairfax NZ NewsOPINION: The news is like Pacman. It consumes what's in front of it, then moves on to the next morsel.
BY LINLEY BONIFACE - © Fairfax NZ NewsOPINION: Who should we blame for the Christchurch earthquake? If this were Italy, the culprits would be obvious: seismologists.
BY RICHARD LONG - © Fairfax NZ NewsOPINION: Mark Twain once joked, after the premature publication of his own obituary, that reports of his death had been greatly exaggerated.
BY LINDA BURGESS - © Fairfax NZ NewsOPINION: It'd be easy to loathe Annabel Langbein (The Free Range Cook TV One, 7pm, Saturday) if only she weren't so damn likeable.
BY COLIN JAMES - © Fairfax NZ NewsOPINION: The "recovery" has gone patchy.
BY LINLEY BONIFACE - © Fairfax NZ NewsOPINION: Death is all very well, but the concept of an afterlife is truly terrifying.
BY JANE BOWRON - © Fairfax NZ NewsOPINION: The main drawback of having the flu is that the eyes become so rheumy you can't even read a good book.
BY KARLO MILA - © Fairfax NZ NewsOPINION: Statistics New Zealand has just released a report measuring job creation and job destruction from 2001 to 2009.
BY VERNON SMALL - © Fairfax NZ NewsOPINION: FIRST READING: Google "savings" and you get a cool 607 million entries to fossick through.
BY JANE CLIFTON - © Fairfax NZ NewsOPINION: You might think that a beauty contestant who won't appear on TV is about as pointless as a cardboard bucket, but this non-appearance made a delightful item.
BY ROSEMARY MCLEOD - © Fairfax NZ NewsAs poeple who take to hedonism with gusto, we sure have a problem with dying.
BY COLIN JAMES - © Fairfax NZ NewsOPINION: Simon Power wants to reclaim the justice system for the people. He has made a start.
BY LINLEY BONIFACE - © Fairfax NZ NewsOPINION: How to Survive A Robot Uprising, Bombproof Your Horse, Excrement In The Late Middle Ages, How Green Were The Nazis? and Across Europe By Kangaroo are among the weirder book titles published in recent years.
From the left
BY CHRIS TROTTER - © Fairfax NZ NewsOPINION: An armed band of about 150 terrorists enters an isolated village in a country torn by civil war.
VERNONSMALL - FIRST READING - © Fairfax NZ NewsOPINION: If you would indulge me for a few minutes I would just like to share a Winston Peters speech. Not one of those old ones about pension cuts, asset sales and the Government's perfidy. With a promise to come back at the next election and expose the truth. That is so last decade.
BY ROSEMARY MCLEOD - © Fairfax NZ NewsOPINION: It's been a secret for years, but I now feel free to confess to my passionate, tempestuous and altogether fantastic affair with John Lennon.
BY JOE BENNETT - © Fairfax NZ NewsOPINION: Dear council. Thank you very much for your rates demand. I was excited to discover that my annual rates have exceeded $2000 for the first time. Well done.
BY JANE CLIFTON - © Fairfax NZ NewsOPINION: It's hard to think of a more dispiriting programme on television at present than TV2's Neighbours At War.
BY COLIN JAMES - © Fairfax NZ NewsOPINION: Elections are looming. That will have many at today's local government conference a bit on edge. But there is much more in the wind.
BY RICHARD LONG - © Fairfax NZ NewsOPINION: Penalising the entire community will not relieve the underage drinking problem.
OPINION: In light of the teeth-gnashing and garment-rending that greeted the recommendation that MPs be given a 10 per cent pay rise, it's hard to imagine what New Zealanders might agree would be a fair payment to those who run the country.
OPINION: In the midst of all the midwinter sniffles, the sick children, the runny noses and the chilly frosts which are the delights of Aotearoa in June, there is a glowing highlight.
BY JANE CLIFTON - © Fairfax NZ NewsOPINION: Building Minister Maurice Williamson was just winding up a particularly gloating series of pre-scripted answers about assistance for leaky homes, when a series of apparitions in the public gallery overhead began to distract attention.
BY JANE CLIFTON - © Fairfax NZ NewsOPINION: In a way only Parliament's elliptical rules could allow, MPs spent nearly half an hour yesterday arguing over a question to which the questioner already knew the answer and to which the minister gave the answer, but was ruled not to have done.
From the Left
BY CHRIS TROTTER - © Fairfax NZ NewsOPINION: The outrage was as plain as a Chinese pikestaff. Responding to Agriculture Minister David Carter's comment that the sale of 16 dairy farms to the Chinese- backed Natural Dairy (NZ) Ltd was "unlikely to go through", the company's vice-chairman, Graham Chin, cut straight to the chase.
OPINION: Telecom and the Government will be working furiously behind the scenes to put together a deal that would see Telecom sell down its stake in network arm Chorus to Crown Fibre Holdings.
BY TRACY WATKINSOPINION: Forget the confidentiality agreements and "need to know" rules of engagement, John Key's trip to Afghanistan was the worst-kept secret in town.
BY KARLO MILA - © Fairfax NZ NewsOPINION: The New Zealand Government is supporting a proposal that will legalise commercial whale hunting for the first time in 24 years.
BY JOE BENNETT - © Fairfax NZ NewsOPINION: I rejoice at the destruction of a cookbook.
BY JANE CLIFTON - © Fairfax NZ NewsOPINION: Vipers in the bosom are usually quite subtle operators, but we're talking about Rodney Hide here.
BY BOB BROCKIE - WORLD OF SCIENCE - © Fairfax NZ NewsOPINION: Recent fossil discoveries mean we must redraw the human family tree.
BY LINLEY BONIFACE - © Fairfax NZ NewsOPINION: So let me get this straight: Jesse James has issued a public apology to you, me, and the remaining 6.8 billion people on the planet for cheating on Sandra Bullock.
BY COLIN JAMES - © Fairfax NZ NewsOPINION: Sometimes climate change talk ascends into a kind of mysticism.
BY ROSEMARY MCLEOD - © Fairfax NZ NewsOPINION: I know, I know, it's wrong of me - but I have gazed at the unusual, not to say challenging, facial features of Stephen Versalko for the past week, and marvelled at how that goofy blandness wangled him $17.8 million.