Could you work with your spouse?

OPINION: Marriage and relationships can be hard work. When you put two people together from different backgrounds and different traditions, issues will come up. Sacrifices need to be made and compromises reached. Travelling down the same path can have its bumpy patches, but then, if you're unwilling to work at it, chances are it won't last.

How much harder is it if your business partner also happens to be your spouse? Financial Times columnist Lucy Kellaway says co-marital working can wreck a marriage and make you a narrower person. The only two advantages, she says, is that you get a lift to work together and that you can make sure your partner doesn't get up to any mischief, and even then there are no guarantees.

This is becoming an important issue because with all the sackings last year, a lot more husbands would have joined wives and vice versa in their business.Some couples thrive when they're working together. The ones I've known who have done it successfully seem to know each other really well. But then, I've met others who are constantly at each other, undermining and arguing all the time. How do you stop personal issues from interfering with the business? Who has the final say on crunch issues? How do you handle confrontations on a "business level" without wrecking the relationship? How do you make it work?

The flying solo web site has seven rules for working with your spouse. All of them really boil down to common sense. First, make sure you sort out all the tensions and disagreements, clear the air. Secondly, make sure you work out how you talk to each other in front of others. If you're going to disagree, keep it civil. Don't discuss bank balances, receivables and P&L tables in bed, make sure you have interests outside of work so you don't do everything together and try to get away for mini breaks outside the work environment so that you can reconnect. It's also important to clearly define your business roles.

Or as Sue Shellenbarger writes in The Wall Street Journal, it's all about creating boundaries between marital and business life.

Other good tips include staying objective and avoiding any sort of nepotism or creating the impression of double standards. You also have to keep the lines of communication open with all employees. As a general principle, your spouse should not be given more information than others, which might be easier said than done. At the same time, don't be harder on your partner than you are on anyone else in the office. And don't broadcast whatever happens at home to the rest of the office.

Some of the disadvantages of working together include the lack of time alone. Spending every hour of the day with your partner can be demanding, exhausting, and yes, unexciting.

The key here is to consider the potential risks and ask yourself whether you can manage and deal with the inevitable ups and downs.

BusinessWeek presents several questions to ask whether you are suited to working together. Do you actually enjoy time together? Have you each ensured that not all your eggs are in one basket? And most importantly, can you ensure that what happens in the office stays in the office.

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