MIND THAT CHILD

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A convicted paedophile who abused 40 children says parents are ignorant of the dangers they put their young ones in every day.

The man - who over the course of decades abused children in swimming pools, in malls and on public transport - said his offending crossed socio-economic boundaries, cultures and religions.

"I'm surprised with a lot of things I got away with," he said.

Though there is widespread debate on physical abuse, he said society's reluctance to discuss sex and sexual offending made it easier to abuse.

Police say child sexual abuse can happen to anyone. It is a silent crime, which makes it easier for paedophiles to offend undetected.

They asked the man to speak to The Dominion Post in the hope that by explaining the way he thinks, and how he managed to offend so prolifically, he might help parents to be more vigilant to the risks that men like him pose.

"People need to realise that there's no stereotype. It's not just a Maori problem, it's not just a socio-economic problem, it's a problem throughout every strand of society," said Detective Sergeant Tusha Penny, head of the Lower Hutt child abuse team.

"People are calling for the Government to do more, but at the end of the day, it is a parent's responsibility to keep their children safe."

She said there were two types of offending - opportunist abuse of a stranger, often in public places; and more prolonged grooming of parents and children. This man did both.

The paedophile told The Dominion Post that he stopped his victims speaking out by manipulating them; saying it was a "naughty game", making them part of the guilty secret. He was so effective that even after he had admitted the abuse, some of his victims denied he had abused him.

Almost all had received some sort of "good touching, bad touching" education, but it appeared to make no difference.

Despite being caught a number of times - even being placed under supervision and on sex offender courses - he was allowed to continue to abuse. He thinks he got away with it because parents assumed paedophiles were old, bald and wore trenchcoats, and that they only liked girls.

The man said the single most important thing that would protect your child was to pay them attention. Many of his victims' parents loved their children, but they were caught up in their own worlds. "The ones that I've found impossible are the ones who have a close communication with their parents. They get heaps of time and attention."

He thought GPS trackers and regular visits to known paedophiles by police officers would make a difference in keeping kids safe.

Ms Penny said most abused children were sexually assaulted by people they knew, and whom their parents trusted.

A lot of abuse went unreported, and even when paedophiles admitted offending, children played down the abuse. "But in the two years I've been working in this field, I have never seen a child make up abuse."

Paedophiles targeted parents as much as children, she said. Solo mothers were particularly vulnerable, and had to take responsibility for whom they let into their house, and whom they let into their children's lives.

"Once your child is abused there's no way back. They're damaged, and you can't undo the damage."

- © Fairfax NZ News