Cyber daters advised to take a friend

Internet daters should ask friends to watch their first face-to-face encounters in case they want to bale out, safety group NetSafe says.Have you been internet dating? Tell us about your experience Click here to send us your feedback

 

Police have also warned people to take care with dating websites after two women complained they had been sexually attacked by a man with the cyber name "Houndman".

They had both met him through a dating website and gone to his rural home outside Huntly on separate occasions, Detective Simon Everson said.

Police want to hear from anyone else who had contact with Houndman.

A man, 40, is due in Huntly District Court tomorrow on rape and sexual violation charges.

Lee Chisholm, operations manager for I NetSafe, said sexual predators could use the same techniques with adults as they did with children.

"We usually think of grooming as something predators do with young people but the same thing can happen with adults.

"It is easy to create dependency."

For instance, they might claim they understood the other person when no one else did. They could also become threatening if someone did not agree to do what they asked.

People should take care how they presented themselves.

"Be careful what sort of profile you present. What you call yourself and the photos you put up will attract a certain kind of person."

People should arrange to meet any dates in a public place – such as a cafe – during the daytime. It was also a good idea to have a friend nearby "so you've got someone you could signal and they go over if you feel uncomfortable".

NetSafe advised against giving out phone numbers or addresses at the first face-to-face meeting.

"If you are then wanting to pull back that relationship, you would then run into difficulties."

Police have also advised people to tell someone else where they are going and whom they are meeting.

Ms Chisholm said people should "shop around" for Internet dating sites, because their terms and conditions varied.

"Most of them have the ability to report any abuse or harassment."

Some sites were aimed more at "sexual encounters" than romance, she said.

Not all Internet romances started through dating websites. Many people met through gaming sites.

PLAY IT SAFE

* Be careful what you call yourself and what photos of yourself you post.

* Arrange to meet dates in a public place during the day.

* Tell someone where you are going and whom you are meeting.

* Have a friend nearby during a date so you can signal them to come over if you feel uncomfortable.

* Don't give out your phone number or address at the first face-to-face meeting.

* Shop around for Internet dating sites with terms and conditions that suit you.

- © Fairfax NZ News