Imagining a world without eskimo lollies - it isn't hard to do

MAY CONTAIN FACTS - BY STEVE BRAUNIAS

OPINION: Sarah Ferguson, Bono and the Dalai Lama have spoken out against popular New Zealand lolly the eskimo.

Their protest follows the ruling that rejected a complaint that the naming of eskimos is offensive.

News headlines were dominated last week with the release of the Advertising Standards Authority's decision to squash the complaint by J Hemingway, who objected to a television commercial about Pascall's Party Mix bag.

A voice-over on the commercial had said: "Pascall party pack is full of your favorite lollies like jetplanes, milk bottles, eskimos, wine gums and black jelly beans."

The complainant felt uncomfortable with the reference to Eskimos, because "the official title as a culture is Inuit".

But the authority felt entirely comfortable with the reference, and binned the complaint.

"It's an absolute disgrace," foamed Bono, the Irish singer of rock band U2.

"I'd like to know who sits on the authority."

Told that its members include a lawyer, a banking ombudsman, a medical health officer with Taranaki District Health Board, a policy analyst for the Mental Health Foundation, and a chartered accountant, Bono replied: "I didn't say I'd like to know them personally."

He demanded that Pascall bring an end to the naming of eskimos, and reconsider its position on black jelly beans.

"You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one," he said. "Do you remember Seeka Lee Veevee Parsons?"

He meant the 21-year-old Inuit of the Nunavut Territory in Canada, who was shocked to come across eskimo lollies during a New Zealand holiday last April.

She said the name was insulting, and threatened to take her complaint to the Canadian Government and Inuit elders.

"I was taken aback," she told the Taranaki Daily News. "When I was a little girl, white kids in the community used to tease me about it in a bad way. It's just not the correct term."

She also believed the shape of the lolly was an unfair stereotype of her people.

Bono said: "People laughed at her, but they laughed at Nelson Mandela, too."

Meanwhile, the Dalai Lama questioned why news media waited so long to report on the authority's decision. Its ruling on eskimos was made last month, on April 14.

"Is there some kind of conspiracy of silence between Pascall, the Advertising Standards Authority, and New Zealand's so-called free press?" he asked.

Told there probably wasn't, he replied: "Where ignorance is our master, there is no possibility of real peace."

He demanded that eskimos should be set free from the confinement of the Pascall Party Mix bag.

"Imagine no eskimos," he said. "It isn't hard to do."

Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York, was willing to introduce eskimos to Prince Andrew. "Five hundred thousand eskimos - when you can, to me - open doors."

Asked what she was talking about, she said: "Give me a lick of the spoon, and that saves my bacon."

Told that she was raving, the duchess said: "St Francis of Assisi said, 'Seek to understand, not to be understood. Seek to love, not to be loved'. Or was it Bono?

"Anyway, I'm appearing on Oprah soon," she continued. "I'll be sure to mention the plight of the eskimos to her. It's an issue close to my heart. Like me, they've been stripped of their identity, bagged, and criticised for their body shape.

"The bottom line is, at the end of the day, you know what, I'm a foghorn for eskimos. I'm their voice. They don't have mouths, do they? Just happy, little fat faces.

"I like the pink ones best. And the green ones. I'm partial to the white ones, too. D'you have any on you? Gimme!"

- © Fairfax NZ News