Pork still off, and rotten tomatoes for stink show

BY KARLO MILA

In a perverse way, I was relieved to see that the pigs at Colin Kay's farm near Levin appear to be as badly treated as they were when Mike King blew the lid off the industry 15 months ago.

The pigs still seem to be stuck in those confined crates, with raw, weeping wounds.

Why am I relieved? Because not once have I bought pork in the last year and now I know I was right to boycott the industry. Nothing's changed.

I have to say that when a Tongan decides to boycott pork it's a big deal. Most Tongans and pigs have a very special relationship (which is mostly about eating).

We love our pork. But you know what? The pork in Tonga tastes different. Pigs taste like they have been fed pawpaw and coconut and food scraps all of their life.

They taste like they have wallowed in warm mud puddles, stretched out and laid in a lot of sun.

In Tonga, I have seen pigs swimming in the ocean and trotting down the road. I have seen pigs go fishing for crabs. The pork in Tonga tastes happy.

As I listened to the chief executive of the Pork Industry Board, Sam McIvor, dodge questions and try to defend the industry on telly, I realised that it doesn't matter how much media training you've had.

You can't turn a sow's ear into a silk purse. And when the sow's ear is bleeding, raw, mangled and kind of looks rotten, it's even harder.

I don't care if they slash prices during the bad press, there will be no pork chops on our barbie.

Thank you, Mike King, for giving up the promo money and doing the right thing. You get my vote for most trusted New Zealander over the SAS trained killer next year.

IT IS a depressing proposition that our consumer power may be one of the few powers we really have as ordinary citizens.

Just like that, it looks like we've lost the right to choose whether we need to see a doctor or not when we're feeling sick and need to take one day off work. It's a new kind of nanny state and she's not very nice.

And it looks like we've lost the right to be fired for a reason in the first three months of any new job.

This "fire at will" bill is being pitched like there are a whole lot of untouchable unemployables out there dragging our businesses down.

These people apparently would never be offered a job in the first place if employers couldn't fire them willy-nilly.

The truth is it affects every one of us. It doesn't matter if you've spent years working to get highly qualified or you have prestigious work experience.

If you change jobs you will be forced to sign up to a collective agreement negotiated by none other than John Key on your behalf, which reads:

"For the first 90 days we reserve the right to fire you for no reason if we so wish."

I don't know about you, but I wouldn't be up for signing an employment agreement with that kind of dangerous small print in it. But I won't have any choice. Neither will you.

Why would anyone risk changing jobs in this climate to be at the mercy of an employer who could turn out to be unreasonable, or unfair, or a rogue? There's a six-week stand-down before you get the dole.

Even the most employable among us would be hard-pressed to find another job instantly. When you have a mortgage and family to support, that's a lot of faith to put in the unknown. Especially when the unknown owes you nothing, not even a reason.

I've been imagining John Key's version of The Apprentice.

"You're fired!" He would say, smiling with a silly comb-over.

"Why? What did I do?" the wannabe contender would ask with a broken voice.

"Ah, actually, I don't need to give you a reason."

It would just be a stink show. Rotten tomatoes all round.

- © Fairfax NZ News