Editorial: Ongoing dilemma of wanting it all

OPINION: The not unexpected resignation of Auckland War Memorial Museum director Vanda Vitali on Tuesday raises some interesting questions. Though the parting of the ways between board and chief executive was inevitable after Dr Vitali antagonised the family of Sir Edmund Hillary, the manner of her going led one Auckland mayor to suggest the board, rather than its employee, should go.

Implicit in Waitakere Mayor Bob Harvey's criticism was that, having searched worldwide for a museum professional to bring Auckland's historical treasury into the 21st century, the board could not manage a woman who, once appointed, stood her ground.

If that inference is right, the Vitali exit has echoes of Bird on a Wire, former Telecom chief executive Theresa Gattung's book, which spoke of her having risen above sexism in her climb to the top of what was our biggest listed company. Perhaps she did.

It certainly cannot have been easy running a multimillion-dollar enterprise once owned by the taxpayer, with the competing expectations of shareholders, the board, sometimes resentful customers, and an increasingly impatient government.

But no-one forced Ms Gattung into that job any more than Dr Vitali was forced to come from the United States to modernise a museum feeling unloved and underfunded after Te Papa was built on Wellington's waterfront.

The decision by any woman to go for, then hold on to, a top job – in politics, business, or the public sector – still has its challenges. Ms Gattung, referring to former prime minister Helen Clark, put it thus: "We were both strong feminists who understood how much harder it was for women than men to get to the top of their respective fields, and stay there ..."

She talks, too, of the cost of her decision to devote all to her job, in losing her relationship to her long-term partner and in being "out of balance as a person – only having time for people who were functionaries in my achievement-oriented universe". It was a telling revelation, one that others – and not only women – who have made their career their lives will recognise.

New Zealand might have had two female prime ministers, its first female chief judge, handfuls of female public-sector chief executives, and Ms Gattung, heading public companies. But her reflections on life at the top are a reminder that women, especially, still make a slew of choices and juggle responsibilities, should they wish not only to have families, but to further their careers, too.

Such choices are, of course, the preserve only of the couples involved. If they are state servants, a benevolent employer might have a role, too. But for most women, trying not to shortchange their families and their bosses is no easier today than when women realised their future did not have to be bound in domesticity. So, can women have it all, as they have so long been told? Many are increasingly realising that the answer is perhaps not. Weighing realising one's workplace potential against the siren call of biology remains an awful dilemma.

- © Fairfax NZ News