Guest post: A new mum writes

BY REBECCA PALMER

I've been trying to write this guest post for a couple of weeks now, as one of those to blame for the Dominion Post's baby blip. But I've discovered time passes very, very quickly when you're a new mother, with short windows of time in which to do non-baby stuff.

As I type this - with one hand - there's a tiny human being feeding off me, making cooing and grunting sounds and the occasional, impressive fart. She's wearing pants several sizes too big for her, having pooed or peed on all her other options in the last 24 hours.

The wee girl has been in the world now for four weeks, which still makes her negative a few days old. She decided to push her way out nearly five weeks early.

I was ill prepared for her arrival, which came just a few days after I'd finished work. I spent my last day as a pregnant woman oblivious to her intentions, feeling her kick and hiccup away in my belly the same as usual.

But that evening my waters broke while I was sitting on the sofa beside my husband watching TV. For a while there I thought I was just peeing myself - but no, it was a baby coming.

I ended up in Wellington Hospital, waiting for labour to be induced in the morning as a precaution because it wasn't clear why those waters had broken early. As I lay alone in the antenatal ward that night, I had a wee cry and mourned the loss of my old, childless life.

I'd hoped to spend at least some of my remaining weeks of pregnancy napping, watching movies and reading books. I'd been looking forward to eating out with my husband in nice restaurants while I still could.

In the end, I went into labour all by myself - no induction necessary. The little girl emerged less than six hours later, purplish and covered in yucky stuff but otherwise perfect. She weighed 2.5kg, just big enough not to be admitted to neonatal intensive care but still vulnerable enough to keep us in hospital for nine days.

Hospital staff did everything to ensure her safety. For several nights, she slept beneath an overhead heater because her temperature was frighteningly low, despite being rugged up in five layers of wool and two hats.

She spent another night on a phototherapy unit to tackle jaundice. She went home with tiny cuts all over her feet from the many blood samples that were taken to monitor her health.

Back in that first week of life, it took a lot to upset her. Sometimes she lay in silence with her eyes wide open, listening to all the full-term babies in the ward scream in unison. She looked perplexed by all the fuss, even - I thought - mildly pissed off. 

She slept blissfully through the 5.2 magnitude earthquake that shook the room long enough for me to contemplate throwing myself over her bassinet.

Hospital staff warned me she wouldn't stay that way forever and indeed that placid, silent wee girl has already gone. I miss her.

Since we came home, she has learned to scream. She is constantly making grunting, grizzling, squawking, sighing noises. She is more demanding about cuddles and often resists going to sleep. She has discovered cluster feeding - where she stays awake and feeds almost continuously for several hours.

At times, she seems utterly inconsolable and I feel in despair.

But overall, it's a relief that she's becoming a big girl - she passed the big 3kg mark this week. It's terribly satisfying watching her grow a double-chin and seeing all the floppy skin on her arms and legs gradually fill out with fat. One of these days, she'll actually fit her clothes properly.

After my four weeks of motherhood, I can offer the following seasoned advice to first-time mothers-to-be:

* Finish work before you think you'll want to.

* Stock up your kitchen cupboards. If you thought you were hungry during pregnancy, try breastfeeding. On the plus side, all that stuff you couldn't eat while you were up the duff is now back on the menu.

* Buy a dressing gown, if you don't already have one. In fact, go crazy and buy two.

* Enjoy long showers, good grooming and clean clothes while you still can.

Any experienced mothers - or fathers - got anything to add?

- © Fairfax NZ News