When all it takes is a smile

BY KERRY WILLIAMSON

Sometimes, all it takes is a smile.

No matter how difficult a day you're having, no matter how much pressure you're under, sometimes a smile makes everything OK.

Take yesterday. I was struggling through a tough day in the office. I had deadlines rapidly approaching and had people coming at me from all directions.

I had stories to write, and none of them were easy. My day was one of death and destruction, of tragedy and the utmost despair. In my job, that happens now and then.

You deal with it and do the best you can. It's not much fun sometimes.

Then, shortly after five, when the pressure was reaching a crescendo, I got a text from the wife.

It read simply "we're here".

I couldn't leave my desk for long. I probably shouldn't have left it at all. But I couldn't miss an opportunity to see the boy.

Right then, he was just what I needed.

So I ducked out, and met up with the wife. She had just picked the boy up from crèche, and he was sitting in the backpack enjoying an adult's eye view of the world.

He hadn't slept much during the day and looked pretty tired. His eyes were red and weary. He desperately needed his dinner and a nap.

But when he saw his Dad coming up the street towards him, he lit up. He lifted his eyes and burst into a smile.

And that was all I needed. I could feel the stress drain away. A smile from the boy and a kiss from the wife, and all was fine again.

I've written a lot about how stressful it is to have the boy. But I have been remiss to mention the fact that he brings more joy than pain.

Sure, he wakes you up in the middle of the night and likes to throw his toys around the lounge. And sure, his nappies stink sometimes.

But a smile from him makes everything right with the world, even if it's falling down around you.

I'm realising this more and more.

I've been working nights lately, so have missed giving the boy his bath and putting him to bed. The evenings used to be our special times, when I would take the boy from the weary wife and do my bit.

But working nights means I get to spend much more time with the tyke during the day. And it's amazing how a few hours with the boy before heading off to work puts you in the right frame of mind to face whatever the day might throw at you.

Yesterday, it was just me and the boy. The wife had an appointment downtown, so she fed the boy his bottle then handed him to me, still lying in bed hoping for a few extra minutes of sleep.

The boy started crawling all over me, and we started pulling faces at each other. It's something he's just started doing, and it's hilarious.

After about half an hour of clambering around the bed, he started to yawn. And before I knew it, he'd tucked his head into my chest and fallen asleep.

It was the first time he'd done that since those first exhausting weeks after he got home from the hospital.

It was an awesome moment, as I lay there listening to him breathe. I thought about how much he'd grown, and I thought about how lucky the wife and I are to have him.

I watched his tiny chest rise and fall, and I watched his eyelids flutter as he dreamt. Every so often he would open his eyes and look up at me, before nestling back down into the crook of my arm and drifting back to sleep.

I felt happy and satisfied and a little bit proud. Then, naturally, I dozed off too.

When I woke up, just in time to see him come out of his slumber, I knew nothing could ruin my day.

I know it's not just me. One of my best friends emailed me yesterday, and she sounded a little down. Work sucks and stress levels are high.

But then she wrote about how amazing her boy is. How he's started stringing words together to make his first sentences. About how he is the best swimmer in his class. About how he's smarter than every other kid she knows.

She wrote about how he talks non-stop now, and how his darkening hair curls around the nape of his neck. She wrote about how her boy is no longer a baby, but a little man.

And I knew that no matter how difficult life is sometimes, her boy makes everything all right. It's the same with me.

It's an unexpected benefit of this whole baby thing. I knew there would be moments when it would be fun, but I wasn't prepared for the overwhelming joy you feel when you're with your kid.

I wasn't prepared for the high the boy can give you. And I didn't expect him to be able to transform a bad day into good.

I didn't anticipate his ability to put things into perspective, to make you get your priorities straight. I didn't know he'd be able to cheer me up with a funny face, even when storms were gathering overhead.

I'd thought a lot about the sleepless nights, the incessant crying, the baby vomit, the demands on my time, and the end of my old life.

But I hadn't thought about the satisfaction of being someone's dad, or the hilarity of watching the boy trying to eat a banana.

Above all else though, there's one thing I wasn't prepared for that now I can't live without.

And that's the power of his a smile.

Sometimes that's all it takes.

 

- © Fairfax NZ News