A parent's worst nightmare

BY KERRY WILLIAMSON

They say it's every parent's worst nightmare, and I have to agree.

I've been following the story of little Aisling pretty closely, and I know I'm not the only parent who has hugged their kid a little tighter and a little longer these past few days.

As I write this, the cute two-year-old with a love of cheese and her precious dolls is still missing, three days after she was last seen walking near a house in in west Auckland.

Her parents turned their back for just a few seconds, and just like that she was gone.

Searchers have scoured the neighbourhood, going door to door and searching a creek that runs behind the west Auckland house. They've found nothing. Aisling's family has come together, hoping and praying their baby will be found alive.

My heart goes out to them, and if I was religious, I'd join their prayers.

Police are now saying that Aisling has likely been taken, snatched by someone from the road. That twist will likely be bittersweet - if it's true it means she might not be dead, but it could also mean she's going through something almost as horrible.

I don't know how I would be coping if I was in her parents' shoes. I think it's fair to say that I wouldn't be - I'd be an absolute mess. I just can't think of anything worse than what they are going through right now.

Now that I'm a parent, this story does hit a little harder than most. I know how easy something like this could happen to my family. And now that I have the boy, I know how awful it would be to lose him.

If you're not a parent, I don't think you can fully understand what Aisling's family is going through right now. And if you are, I'm sure you've thought about what it would feel like to be in a similar situation.

I now know how easy it is to turn your back, just for an instant, then turn back around and find your kid gone. My boy is only eight months old, and is only just crawling, but he can move at surprising speed.

There have been times when I've lost him, just for the briefest of moments, before finding him with my pulse racing and my heart in my mouth. I think about what it will be like when he can walk, open doors, go up and down stairs. That worries me.

I also know how easy it would be for someone to take the boy.

I've left him asleep in the backseat of the car while I've quickly popped into the dairy for some milk.

I've left him alone in the trolley at the supermarket while I've searched for something the wife has asked me to pick up.

I've left him in the stroller while I've thrown sticks for the dog at the beach. I've left him in the lounge with the doors wide open while I've made dinner in the kitchen, at the other end of our house.

And like any over-protective parent, I've woken up in the middle of the night, certain I've heard someone creeping down the hall and into his room.

For me, it's a little more real - I've written stories about some bad people, and it has entered my mind that they could go after me through my boy. Heck, I've even written about someone who once kidnapped a baby and is now out of prison and walking the streets.

I worried about that story for quite a few weeks after I wrote it. Stupid paranoia? Maybe. But being a parent brings with it a whole new swag of neuroses. We worry about things that never would have crossed our minds before our kids came along. And there are lot of bad people out there.

I mean, how many of us have snuck into our kid's room in the early hours just to make sure he's still there, or that he's OK? I do that every night, without fail.

I can't imagine the pain of not knowing where my boy is.

I can't imagine the agony of having to pick out photographs of my kid to put on a missing persons poster.

I can't imagine the horror of having police search my neighbourhood, trying to find my son.

And I can't imagine waiting for a phone call from police, a phone call that might be good news, but might just be the worst news imaginable.

I desperately hope this story turns out well. I hope that Aisling is found and that her parents get to see their daughter again.

But while we all wait for good news, I'll be thinking of my boy just a little more.

I'll be hugging him tighter and holding him longer.

IF YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION ABOUT AISLING'S DISAPPEARANCE, CALL POLICE AT 08004AISLING or (0800) 4247-5464 

- © Fairfax NZ News