I think that the more freedom the bf/gf has, the better. If they are going to cheat, better that they do it asap. That way you can write off the relationship and move on without wasting more time than absolutely necessary on them.

If you don't take this approach, how could you ever feel secure?

I've never been a jealous girlfriend but most of my mates are guys, they also drift in and out of my lives dependant on their relationship status, I don't see much of them when they have a partner and less when they get married and its because their wives/girlfriends/partners don't like me, can't think of why its not like I'd ever want to go there.

Now what I could understand is if she doesn't like your friend because; your friend has a thing for you, you've slept together or shes actuall an ex (doesn't matter if it was 2 yrs ago or 10 years ago).

You could always try talking to her about it, and telling your friend how your partner feels, perhaps a woman to woman is a better idea?

Mmm, I am 'That Girl' too - but my issue is that if you're in a relationship, shouldn't you be introducing your partner to your friends (girls or guys) and hanging out with them as a couple (not necessarily all the time of course - we all need our space!)? I have plenty of guy friends who I wouldn't dream of hanging out with without their girlfriends/partners, and yet my boyfriend hangs out with female friends (a lot of them exes of his) without me - it's not about trust necessarily, it's about what is appropriate behaviour in a relationship.

At least that's what I reckon!

Men are only friends with females because they would like to sleep with them at some stage - simple. Anyone who denies this is lying.

Ive had plenty of those overbearing jealous type boyfriends. Not fun and Ive lost plenty of mates to just keep the peace.

This time Im all for my friends and not having to choose over my guy mates or my partner. Luckily this time Im with a guy who dosent mind me having friends of the opposite sex. It all makes for a happier relationship, and happier friends!

Morning Greer. I completely relate to this situation. My man also has many female friends from before we were together. I am alot more cynical and less trusting than he is. I completely trust him and I know without a doubt that he would never intentionally do anything to betray my confidence in him. But I dont trust their intentions, and I tend to come from a family where females know how to use their wiles... Makes me a very suspicious person sometimes :P I also get jealous of his time. If I cant spend the time with him, I dont like that time being spent on a another female. Catty I know. But I have learned a few tricks to keep these feelings in check.

I think you're spot on Greer. Making sure he is honest and open and communicates with her goes a long way. Let her know when so-and-so is in town. Include her in the catch ups at first, and help her to feel comfortable. Reassure her of how much he loves her.

I have made a couple of awesome friends this way. Others, me and him have had to agree to disagree on. But he always lets me know if he's thinking of seeing one of them, and I know that if at any time I feel really uber uncomfortable about it, I can let him know and he wont see her. This kind of consideration helps me to remember that he does love ME and this makes me more determined not to be selfish and to remember that he needs his friends to be the man I love. Takes alot of effort from both sides, but it can work without her feeling irrelevant and without him having to give up people he cares about.

I've had this happen to me also. As in I was the 'other woman' that my best guy mates girlfriend didn't trust. It completely ruined our friendship and even though me & guy mate have made amends (only after he broke up with said girl mind), it's never been the same since.

Thing is I reckon the right woman wont make you ditch your female mates, I would never ask my man to do that because no matter how attractive and randy his female mates are I trust him not to let anything happen. If she can't extend that courtesy to you then maybe she's not the right woman?

@ the fridge aka paulimus_prime #4 9:58am Men are only friends with females because they would like to sleep with them at some stage - simple. Anyone who denies this is lying.

SO SO SO true - anyone else who thinks differently is naive!

the fridge aka palimus_prime is correct. Any male who has female friends he makes an effort to see without his g/f around is hot for the other chick. Guys are only mates with girls they want to shag.

I would not be happy about my fiance going to spend time with other girl 'friends' without me there. I am the female in his life, and his best friend. If he has time for some other chick, and specifically doesn't want me around, I'd be mad/suspicious. I don't go hang out with guys without him.

newbie here! well, my experience has been as the partner of the guy seeing the other girl... I trusted him implicitly and throughout our 7 year relationship he had heaps of female friends, which I never had a problem with at all. Then one of those friends became a bit more of a fixture in our lives and suddenly i found myself doubting his and her intentions. Of course, becvasue she had been around for a while, I was deemed to be the insecure and jealous one, and simply making things up. Well, suffice to say, 2 months later, he tells me he loves her and 3 months later we split up. Now they are together (breaking up her marriange in the process).

Up shot of all of this is, trust your instincts. I knew when something had changed and was not on the level and in future will have no hesitation speaking up if I am not comfortable with a situation.