I think I've still got stuff from old boyfriends.. I can think of a couple of things its a combination of I like to keep stuff and they're good memories. Theres no way I'm going to chuck jewellery it shouldn't matter where it comes from. You shouldn't have to pretend life hasn't happened before you met your current partner.

As for the picture in the backpack thing thats just weird.. but boys at 25 (they really are boys not men) don't really think about stuff like that.. he probably hasn't even thought about it. The little black book (I have one.. an actual black book for names and addresses with dating tips like how to tell if your date is an axe murderer) is just a way to keep track, all guys do it. Some use spreadsheets and even rate them, some have note books, I'm sure some even notch their bedposts.

50 ex-lovers (they won't all be girlfriends) is not many but that just shows what kind of guys I meet.

I wouldn't be so much concerned about the book-o-conquests so long as it's not getting added to.

Gifts from ex's can be an interesting thing. I'm not a fan of giving stuff back just because you've broken up with someone. I'd be offended if someone gave me back something I'd given with thought and feeling during a relationship. It was given at the time. Stuff that happens after the gifting moment is irrelevant to that gift.

The advantage of keeping a list is that if you ever come down with an STI you can contact them all to suggest they get a check up.

Other than that - it is weird to keep mementos of ex-lovers. I have some photo albums - but nothing that specific - and it's all stored in a box somewhere in the garage. I don't have anything else from any ex's except child support invoices.

It sounds like he's keeping these things to boost his own self esteem. On no level ever would I think it was ok to keep a 'list/black book' of his past conquests. It's just sick. It's like he's silently saying to you that you should be lucky you've got him. I would sit down with him and tell him that all these things bother you and you don't see why he should feel the need to keep these physical reminders of these other girls. If he doesn't see your point of view - get out now - it won't last. If he gets rid of them and you still feel insecure, it may be time to work on your own self esteem. I do believe that you can be friends with ex's, however a current partners needs should always take priority. He should be able to see your point of view on the matter, as keeping these things seems really excessive and unnecessary

I've got stuff from exes (photos etc.) but they are all in a little box along with a whole lot of other stuff (my memories box - years of abuse have left my memory a little worse for wear, and sometimes needs a little jogging to remember my teens/early twenties :) ). They are definitely NOT on display, nor in my wallet/manbag. My wife and I are still on good terms with some of our exes, but any mementos of previous relationships (except for utiliatarian stuff like clothes etc) have either been disposed of or put away somewhere. I think it's a respect thing - I wouldn't like to see photos of my lovely wife kissing other boys every day, and I'm pretty sure she wouldn't like to see photos of me doing that either.

I think you have hit the nail on the head here Greer, guys just aren't as sentimental as girls. I have a few items from exe's, but they don't remind me of the ex, they are just things that I like. I'm sure I treasured them when they were gifted to me, but I'm more about giving than receiving and the time that I spend with someone is much more important to me than a knick knack.

I used to wear a ring that I thought was one of my exes - it had to be, I found it in my room under my bed, couldn't be anyone else's ... could it? Yes, but that's another story - I originally wore it as a reminder of her, but as my feelings faded, I continued to wear it because I liked it and it was different. I would still be wearing it today, but I found one I liked more.

I still have photos of exes, but they are hidden away in photo envelopes, I'm not trying to hide them from anyone in particular, just have no reason to display them. I certainly wouldn't carry one around in my backpack unless I forgot that it was there, but by the sounds of it this is not the case.

I don't think that it is ever too much to expect some sort of respect for how different things make you feel. Your partners actions may not necessarily need to change, but you should be able to openly discuss your feelings so you can at least understand why there is a photo of an ex sitting on the mantlepiece above the fire.

Gifts from exs are one thing. If someone gives you something, and you like it, then you keep it. And if the relationship ends, then you still appreciate the item, even if no longer the giver. I don't think it matters too much where things came from after the relationship has ended.

The photo in the backpack is a little odd. Photos of you and your ex, not a worry. Photos of you and your ex kissing... not generally the done thing. Taking that photo with you to work every day? Weird. And I'd suspect ulterior motives.

A little black book is fine if you're single as well, not if you're in a relationship. Contrary to popular opinion, most guys I know dont keep one, although a cellphone could be classed as a modern substitute I suppose. In which case maybe we do. But in any case, it's probably as Greer said. If it's chucked in the bottom of a drawer or the back of the closet, then you have nothing to worry about. If it's hanging up next to the phone, burn it and run.

I sort of hate to say it but he sounds like he's keeping these mementoes for him, to remind himself of how great he is. And that he's still got it if he wants it... Otherwise, a current friendship wouldnt be a reason to keep letters evoking the ghosts of girlfriends past if you've asked him to biff them.

Im NOT saying dont trust him, but if you talk to him, and ask him to get rid of them and he won't, then maybe ask yourself (or him) why not. If he doesnt have any attachment to these women, then what attachment would he have to their letters either? Guys and girls do get sentimental about different things, but most people don’t hold onto something if there’s no practical or emotional reason to do so. He may have forgotten about those things in the first instance, but he’s been reminded of them now, and still wont get rid of them?

A for Anonymous, you should dump your boyfriend, the guy is an asshole.

If this is a serious relationship, you should both be in it, heart, mind and soul, with no links back to the past. At the very least tell him how you feel and give him a chance to redeem himself.

I'd feel really uncomfortable about that and ask him to put it all in a box out of the way.

I have a couple of soft toys and a ring from my first love from 3 years ago. I haven't seen them or looked for them since we broke up but I know where they are. I have no photos of him or the second guy I dated or my second boyfriend (I know that probably makes little sense to people but it makes sense to me) as the pain of seeing their faces again hurts too much/makes me angry. I'm not in contact with any of them. My flings however - my scarf that brought the two of us together I constantly call my "love scarf" and I have a (now dead) buttercup on my desk from a boy who picked it for when he was walking me home when I forgot the flowers at his he picked for me the night before <3

I don't see anything wrong with keeping mementos in general. I still have a couple of cards and other items sitting in boxes somewhere but I wouldn't publicly display items of affection from anyone but my current partner. I'd be concerned about the photo he takes around with him. I suggest making sure the guy has photos of him and Anonymous together that he can take to work with him instead. If he still takes the old photos rather than the new ones, there may be an issue.