Why doing housework is sexy
BY GREER MCDONALDI have a very big thing for guys who do the following things without prompting: rinse their dishes, vacuum, iron, wipe down benches. I love tidy Kiwis.
Cleaning, it seems, is my porno.
Bar my desk at work ("Never trust a journalist with a tidy desk," I was once told) and my car (my poor, poor neglected car), I like a certain amount of tidiness in my life.
I'm no Monica from Friends but I like order in my home - especially when sharing it with others.
It came as no surprise then that a study has found that men who help out with housework get more sex. And so do women.
In fact the more time spent on housework, the more sex the men and women reported.
So why does housework get us so randy?
I reckon there are a few reasons.
To me housework is more than physically cleaning a surface or a tidy up, it's a sign of you're being considerate.
When you wipe out the sink after you've done the dishes, you're doing so probably for two reasons. 1. You can't stand the sight of the mess yourself. 2. You don't want the ones you love to have to deal with the untidiness.
You want your partner to know you're housetrained, you're responsible, you care about your surroundings, and you have pride.
You want to ease the burden; you want to pick up your share of the work.
Those things are all super sexy.
I think I've been a bit spoilt in my life: my Dad, brother and a lot of the men I've dated have been housetrained. It really does set the standard.
Cleaning is also sexy because it breaks down gender boundaries that once may have existed.
I once told a guy who was cleaning his house before he left it for a week (leaving just his messy flatmate to appreciate it) that watching him push the vacuum cleaner back and forward was just about the sexiest thing I'd ever seen.
I've also been known to sit back and make lovey-dovey eyes at guys as they iron their shirt, concentrating and searching for perfection in every sleeve and that annoying space between the buttons.
There's nothing worse than a guy who is stuck in the 1950s and believes it's a woman's job to clean up and keep the house tidy.
Women - yes, we're complicated creatures - have a well-known link between sex and emotions. If we're feeling stressed in any way, worried that the windows need washing or the pile of laundry needs folding, this information overload clogs our brain and leaves little room for "the man might like a bit of nookie right now".
My theory? The couple that cleans together, stays together - and has a lot of good lovemaking in the process (although don't forget to turn the iron off before the mood carries you away).
Are you as turned on by cleanliness as I am? Would you clean more often if it meant you got more sex?
The cupboard is looking a bit bare - got any Ask Greer questions you'd like to send through? Email me at greer2.0@gmail.com or follow me on Twitter @GreerMcDonald or on Facebook.
- © Fairfax NZ News
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Nail has been firmly hit.
However, out of my partner and I it is definitely me who is the messier one. I do try to keep the dishes from piling up and keep the bathroom clean, but my clothes are just incapable of remaining folded and put away. The couple of big cleans I've done of our bedroom have seen my guy jumping up and down in excitement and professing his undying love for me. Hmmmmm maybe I should do another one?
I LOVE cooking. And I love my skipper doing the dishes after I have cooked. I do my best to try and minimise on the mess when I'm in the kitchen, but after eating its bliss to be able to sit down and have someone else do the dishes.
Have to say, he's def more the tidy one in our house. I have a tendancy to hang my clothes up on the floor :P He's a very patient man!!!
Well housework doesn't do anything for me personally. I detest it theres a difference though between filth and messy.. I am quite fond of messy it feels lived in.. I have a floordrobe, mail, magazines and dvds get stacked on surfaces.. its just the way things are.
However dishes do not sit around and not get cleaned until there are no dishes left to use and I take offence to rodent leavings (it took me a whole weekend to get rid of the mess I found at my broter's house after I agreed to house sit, they didn't seem to realise anything was wrong with having droppings throughout the kitchen and pantry, it was foul)
Not sure I would find a man doing housework sexy either.. I might be appreciative from the perspective of if he does it then I invariably would not have to.. unless he did it wrong.. which is probable and then I would just be annoyed.
I just ask my wife which was sexier, 1 a man that picks up and cleans up after himself or 2 a man that can afford to have someone to do that for him.
She said a man that could afford to pay someone else to pick up for him was sexier.
I look at domestic chores in 2 lights
1/ tidying up after yourself is just common decency. EG make a sandwich, wipe the bench and put your plate in the dish washer: take your laundry , seperate the colours and put it in the washer, that sort of thing.
2/But then there are things like, cooking duties, ironing, mowing the lawns, hanging out the washing, doing the vacuuming.
I personally HATE doing ironing, but love cooking. I swap my ironing responsibilities for cooking duties. I'm not allowed to hang out the washing as apparantly i do it wrong, and refuse to learn the 'right way'.
So in effect there is NO equality in our home duties. There are some things i take 100% responsibility for, and there are others that that the bride owns 100%.
But i do have one rule. You can ask me to do something OR show me how to do something NOT BOTH. If you want something done I will do it MY way, if you dont like the way i do it then i suggest you do it yourself. (this goes both ways)
Men doing more chores around the house will NOT get you laid more often, but EXPECTING your woman to clean up after you will get you laid a whole lot LESS.
@Thalia #4 - totally agree with the messy vs. dirty thing. My house is messy for sure, but its clean.
Don't find housework sexy myself, although I sure do appreciate it. I do find it sexy when men cook - but maybe cos the current man makes such great food!
The other day, I came home to find my man had cleaned the oven, luxed the house, and mopped the kitchen and bathroom floors. It was extremely sexy! He got good loving that night. If all men truly understood that doing stuff like that equals more sex, then we'd all be happier.
The older I get, the more I need things to be tidy, and my man's the same. In our bedroom, I'm the messiest, but it's mainly just clothes on the floor from trying on eight different outfits before reverting back to the first one! But in the kitchen, I'm definitely the tidiest - he's such a messy cook, drives me mental.
Nothing gets me in the mood more than a man doing my dishes.
In fact it turns me on so much he probably would have his clothes off by the time he started on the second pan.
Happy New Year everybody!
It can go too far though - I have a friend whose man is so terrified of dust and fluff that he gags when he sees it and cleans everything so meticulously you can't sit down for fear of unsettling a cloud of "the dreaded fluff".
I am very lucky in that my man does all the cleaning. When he was at home his mother did everything for him. When I was at home my mother made me do everything for myself - so it was a big surprise that we completely switched roles when we shifted in together.
Sadly, the poor man isn't getting any more action as a result I don't think! But I do praise the guy when he goes over and above the normal cleaning because he's being so considerate! It fully impresses me.
I went to buy a dishwasher in the weekend. Despite hubby asking the salesman all the questions about features (whilst I wandered looking at other things), the salesman kept following me around the store to answer hubbies questions. Clearly the guy thought that being a woman it would be me who needed to know about the dishwasher. Needless to say, he didn't get the sale.