The boy and his black eye

The boy has his first black eye.

But before you judge me or call the cops, please, I can explain.

The boy has reached the stage where he has become a terror to himself.

Whereas just a few weeks ago, he could barely crawl and was rarely in any danger, things have definitely changed of late.

About two weeks ago, he figured out how to pull himself up onto things - couches, coffee tables, bookshelves, the legs of visitors, his toy-bucket, the vacuum that seems to have found a permanent home in the hall.

He grabs hold with his little fingers, pulls himself onto his knees, then slowly and methodically he stands up.

It's pretty impressive, but that's where his troubles begin.

The boy's biggest problem is that he hasn't exactly figured out how to get down.

And his little legs can only hold his weight for so long.

Eventually they begin to shake like jelly, his proud grin turns into a look of fear, and he falls over.

If he's lucky, he'll catch himself as he goes down. If he's not so lucky, he'll whack his arm on the piece of furniture that seconds earlier he'd used to stand tall.

And if he's really unlucky, he'll hit his head on something as he tumbles to the floor, producing a bruise that will mark him for days.

That's how he got his shiner. He climbed onto his knees using the bookshelf in the lounge. He pulled a book out and threw it on the floor, his latest game that he finds simply hilarious.

Then, as he looked down at the book he'd just tossed aside, he lost his balance and fell forward. His head clocked the spine of a hardcover Richard Ford novel as he fell, catching him just above his left eye.

He cried a bit, more out of damaged pride than anything. And when he woke up yesterday morning, his eyelid had turned a beautiful shade of purple, green and brown.

It's barely noticeable - it's not like he looks like Shane Cameron or anything.

But we know it's there, a puffy, rainbow-coloured indictment on our parenting skills, or lack of them.

It means the boy won't be going out for a couple of days. It's not worth it - we don't need the judgmental glances from others, who will clearly label us as child abusers.

"Hit his head on a book eh? Right...if you say so..."

I mean, let's face it, when you see an injured kid at the supermarket, you look twice at his parents.

And when you see a baby with a black eye, well, you wonder if you should call the CYF officer straight away or wait until you get home.

The boy's new shiner is not the only injury he's suffered since he decided that two legs are better than four.

Just yesterday he pulled himself up using the drawers in the kitchen.

Using the first drawer, he got himself up on his knees; using the second drawer, he got up onto his feet; and using the third drawer, he pulled himself onto his tippy-toes.

Once standing, he gazed out from his new vantage point and grinned a little. Then his equilibrium let him down, he slumped forward, the drawer closed and his fingers got caught as it shut.

He let out a yelp as his mum swooped in to rescue him. And then he wailed for several minutes as the wife felt worse and worse.

The list of incidents goes on. His forehead is almost always bruised, a result of him crawling into the sliding glass door in the lounge on a regular basis.

He whacked his chin on the dishwasher the other day, another unsuccessful attempt at standing.

He did the splits last week when he propped himself up on the vacuum, only to be knocked over when the dog walked past and hit him with her tail.

And he jammed his fingers in the door three days ago, as he tried to escape the stifling confines of the lounge.

There's just not much you can do. And so far we've decided to let him learn from his mistakes, as long as those mistakes aren't life-threatening.

We don't want to wrap him in cotton wool, and we don't want to curb his adventurous spirit. We figure that if he jams his fingers in the door 10 times, then maybe by the 11^th time he'll have learnt something.

And we figure that if he is going to learn to stand, then he's going to have to expect some falls. He can take that literally or metaphorically - either way, it's a life lesson the boy has to learn himself.

It's not easy though. We don't like it when the boy hurts himself. And we do try to be there to catch him if he takes a tumble. We're parents, not monsters.

We just have to accept that the boy is going to get himself into some scrapes now and then. That's just what kids do.

So if you see us in the supermarket and spot the bruise on the boy's cheek, or the black eye, or the cut finger, don't judge us.

It was the boy's fault.

Honest.

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Auntie G   #1   09:55 am Oct 21 2009

Don't you have one of those cages, I mean, play pens that you can put him in? Or a leash to put him on? Or some bubble wrap you can cover him in? Kidding of course. Poor lil' guy. It's so cute when they start discovering what they can investigate and destroy.

Jodi   #2   12:29 pm Oct 21 2009

Time for a helmet.

dohy   #3   03:15 pm Oct 21 2009

Ditto on the helmet. Boy 3 had his first shiner at around 9 months, when Boy 2 kindly "helped" him up the front steps, launching him over the hedge onto a rock. Once he could stand on his own, he learned to crouch low to the ground when the other two rocketed by him, but he was still covered in bruises all the time. I found a cloth helmet that protected him but didn't drive him crazy, and it reduced the visible bruising. Don't worry - they bounce.

Emily   #4   04:35 pm Oct 21 2009

This is little off topic: Do you think "The vaccuum that seems to have found a permanent home in the hallway" might be a subtle hint that you should do something with it? I'm not trying to cast aspersions or anything, but it happened to me more than once. I spent a month stepping over the vaccuum left strategically in my way before realising it was a message. sorry to hear your boy has been in the wars, by the way.

Neville   #5   09:19 pm Oct 21 2009

Time he toughened up, he's been blooded in the South now he has to take all that happens and put down to experience Sounds like he's following in Aunty G and H's foot steps, they are in their twenties and still haven't got out of the habit of bruising themselves, mainly in Rugby!!

Aunty C   #6   09:30 pm Oct 21 2009

I can proudly say I never gave Hagan a black eye, dislocated his elbow yes (Hagan will tell the story) but never a black eye. He did that more as a young adult(But still not my fault). The boy needs some love and understanding from his old aunty??

bobsyauncle   #7   08:29 am Oct 22 2009

Oh no! Whatever you do, DON'T buy a 'helmet' & don't bubblewrap him. Falling over & having "crashes" really is all part of growing up - & seeing them go through these is part of us growing as parents too. They do get upset, & we hate seeing them upset, but he WILL have so many more bumps and bruises. At least he will if he's an active outdoors kid (& not wrapped up indoors watching TV or playing X-box/playstation).

wendy   #8   12:57 pm Oct 22 2009

My cousins little girl was constantly crawling into things - her wee head was too heavy to keep up and look where she was going - so they literally wrapped her head in bubble wrap (between two wee beanies) to reduce the bruising - made her look like a wee bobble head :-)

guilty parent   #9   01:45 pm Oct 22 2009

I can so relate having had to to suffer the guilt and shame of taking my daughter into daycare with a black eye after she took a tumble into the corner of her trolley. Tragic, I know, but I actually felt relieved when she got a minor injury at daycare the following week!

Barry Williamson   #10   03:02 pm Oct 22 2009

Harden up... he's a Southern Man in the making!No pain... no gain!

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