Finders keepers, losers weepers?
By NICK CHURCHOUSE - The Dominion Post
Ten million dollars.
If someone accidentally put that into your account, and you had no ties - no dog to get home and feed, no rugby team to captain on Saturday, no washing to get in off the line - would you take off?
If you haven't heard (how's the weather on Mars?) that's what a couple in Rotorua did after some poor schlep at Westpac triggered three extra zeros onto their $10,000 overdraft.
I'd love to be a fly on the wall in Westpac's HR department this week - oh the pain. I was subject to a bit of corporal punishment in 1989 at the hands of an overzealous schoolmaster before it was outlawed. One gets the feeling Westpac might bring in a couple of large Melburnian bikies to take the poor overdraft imbecile down to the vault. I'm sure those things are soundproof.
In any case, there are a lot of sternly-worded cautionary comments coming out from Westpac, the Banking Ombudsman, the police, etc etc rah rah rah.
Likelihood is, the rest of the country is whooping into its Weetbix reading the paper this morning.
Let's be honest, whether they deserve it or not, most people think banks are inherently evil. We give them our money to look after. They take it happily (and charge us a fee to do it), then they lend our money to other people (and charge them for it), and then when we want our money back they charge us to take it out. This makes them rather wealthy. I watched some guys who owned banks play poker once - the stakes were US$500,000 per hand (I was pouring their drinks, and yes the tip was good). I want to own a bank.
Once guesses that's what Leo and Kara from Barnetts BP thought too when they logged on to their internet banking and discovered the questionable windfall.
Maybe they are off in somewhere like Venezuela (since Papillion I think that's where all fugitives should go) trying to buy a local corner bank with the $6 million they allegedly skimmed before skipping out on "holiday". Sure you'd feel pretty bad, for about five minutes.
I tried it once. My bank put an extra $400 dollars in my account when I was a student. Since my balance was normally $4.70 I noticed the sudden Bill Gates-like amount and withdrew it immediately, looking furtively over my shoulder at the time (when you have to do that, you know it's dodgy).
The next day, the cops had not arrived, and I thought I was in the clear, heading to the travel agent to book a seat in the next floating shoebox bound for Venezuela, and I checked my balance in the ATM to find I was $384.14OD. Bugger. Cost me $25 in overdraft fees too.
If only muppets like the Westpac "Triple Zero Hero" overdraft clerk had been part of my bank's transaction crew at the time, this blog might be called The Flush Boys and be written in Spanish.
Who knows, maybe Leo and Kara will get caught out. Maybe they'll never sleep another wink thinking 
Captain Westpac and the Interpol Assassins will be arriving any minute on the doorstep of their adobe villa in the leafy affluent suburbs of Caracas. But you'd like to think they had beaten the rap, disappeared and started a Venezuelan honey business to keep them busy in between cocktails.
The question across every breakfast table this morning is "would you?". Parents will be admonishing their children, advising it is wrong to take what's not yours, and muttering into their coffee "Lucky bastards." Oldies will be clamouring over the mahjong table "wouldn't have happened in my day" and thinking "if only it had happened in my day".
Does the universal playground rule "finders keepers, losers weepers" apply here? I bet someone at Westpac is having a wee cry right now.
So, would you? If it was your bank account that got plumped up by a few noughts?
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It's not a case of 'would you' it's a case of you (probaby) can't.
Put it anywhere in NZ and the bank can scoop it up. Get it overseas and the chances are still pretty good of them getting it back.
Banks, unlike say that other grand money-making institution the Catholic church, don't have a history of habbitual abuse of children (sexually, physically, emotionally etc) which is more evil?
I'm a good girl and would hand in any sum of money usually, but the whole "banks are evil" thing does mean that I would not care as much as if I had found $400 on the street and thought it was some old ladies savings.
I would just pretend not to notice it was there, then when the bank did get in touch I would tell them they can have their $10m back, but I would want any interest earned.
I wouldn't be stealing anything, just making sure I was rewarded for my ability not to run off with it!
Let's hope they had the sense to choose a country with which we have no extradition treaty.... ;)
I would be gone in a flash! If it was money from a person, give it back, its not yours. From Westpac? Run, run, run!!! Those bastards "lost" several thousand dollars of mine for several weeks on an international transaction a couple years ago which lost me a deal which cost me about $10,000. Then they tried to charge me a fee for finding out where it had gone!!! I say F**K Westpac! Run, run, run!!!!!! And good luck and best wishes!!
i would take out as much cash as i could and be in fiji scuba diving within hrs lol
hey that's a photo from Canaima, deep in the dark jungles of Venezuela (went for a swim right there between those three trees :). Nice place apart from the high murder rate, corrupt cops, anacondas, piranhas, malaria, ....
Buy yea, pretty sure you wouldn't get found there.
Apparently this has happened before, and the ppl came forward and the bank let them keep the interest! I don't think that would happen now though.
10 mil would be very tempting, but I think I would be too paranoid to take off with it. If I gave it up however, I would be expecting a bottle of very expensive wine and some very nice chocolates from the bank, ooo and maybe lunch!
I'm a firm believer that what goes around comes around...I would dread the day they were found if I was them. Can you imagine...prison? (No offence at all to anyone whose spent time there) but it's truly one of my worst nightmares. I think I'd die a lot earlier in my life from all the stress of having to run all the time!
I work for a bank, and we are NOT evil!! (he he) basically all we ask is that customers take ownership of their own finances and make sure they keep money in their accounts for payments THEY have arranged... We do reverse fees if you call and havent had them previously...
And, even keeping the interest is illegal.... FYI.
Ethically I don't think I could do it, and morally... It would be nice though :)
P.S photo from friday please Lane!
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That servo they own is just up toh road from my old place in vegas, in the aptly named cartoonsih subuirb of Springfield. Mum told me that the staff just walked out and the locals came and helped themselves to oil and ice- ah, the entrepreneurial spirit of Rotorua lives on!
and yes...i would...maybe