Pens, post-its and Paris
By NICK CHURCHOUSE - The Dominion PostSigh. No one's getting away with anything anymore.
Bosses are coming down on personal calls from work phones, Rodney got snapped being a big old hypocrite flying his chick around courtesy of Ma and Pa Taxpayer, and Hone couldn't even bunk off a meeting that he "really didn't need to be at" to check out Gay Paree.
It's a combo of the economic recession, the new Government being more hardline about squeezing a little more out of every government dollar, and the realisation that we've got so many Baby Boomers about to retire that all of us Gen XYZ need to triple our productivity to keep them in the lifestyle to which they have become accustomed.
The excess of the 80s, the 90s and the dotcom days are well and truly over. Scrooge is back, and he's prowling the office corridors.
It makes me nervous to even "borrow" a biro from work for doing the crossword on the bus.
I'm not advocating using taxpayer-funded flights to go to Disneyland and your cuzzie's wedding, but it'd be cool if you could.
Old Hone should really have gone to the meeting he was in Europe for and then shot off with the missus for his tour at Notre Dame, but geez, surely Mike and Moana Kiwiana would oblige one of our hardworking ministers making the most of being in Europe. Eh?
It just doesn't fly now.
I've started a logbook, noting the deployment of each post-it note and paperclip I use, should I ever be pulled before the Dompost remuneration authority to justify my wanton disregard for stationey in the course of work. Did you know if you are careful when removing staples, you can reinsert them in the stapler?
Corporate fraud is being investigated at a growing rate, mainly because the chiefs are starting to look a little more closely at everything that goes through. It seems that is the way it should always have been?
But we all know a few stories of the guy in accounts who puts letters to his girlfriend in Australia in the work outbox, or the frugal fiend who once made off with a tin of instant coffee from the work canteen to stock up his personal larder. Some folk I know even flog off freebies from work on Trade Me, making cold hard cash from their employers goodwill. Some would say so what? Some would say it's taking the piss.
When I was in my first job back in the 90s I used to pop a handful of pocket-sized note pads in my bag on the way out the door every now and then, because my flatmate liked having them for meeting and his work (a massive law firm) didn't get them. Think I might have nicked a packet of toffee pops once too. My grandmother would be horrified.
It makes you wonder, looking around, how many people take a little light-fingered relief, whether it's going to a casino on the company credit card, printing your latest novel on the work printer, or heading or ordering flowers for your Mum through the company account.
Apparently, according to a few fraud investigators I have talked with, most people feel justified in it, because their boss is a prick, or they get paid less than they think they should, or they've been putting in the long hours and the company doesn't even say thanks.
Some might say that for the hours and effort and personal sacrifice that some of our MPs put in, you might think a couple of extra pints on the taxpayer after a late sitting at Parliament might be in order. But not a couple of pints in Paris, Hone. Fair dinkum fella.
It's a fine line, the tolerance shown by an employer to this sort of behaviour. Everyone is going to be different. What's the vibe at your work? And what's the best rort you've seen someone get away with (or even better not get away with)? Don't be shy, it's anonymous.
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This logbook of yours.... did you pay for it?
One I didn't get away with - found out when I was working in London in the early 90s that we could make calls to NZ on direct dial without it being traced back to our extension. Boss noticed huge increase in phone bill and challenged the 10 or so Kiwi staff in our office. I couldn't take the guilt and 'fessed up to the ones I'd made. There were heaps more I hadn't made. I got a severe talking to and had to pay it back but didn't get the sack. The rest who didn't own up were never fully trusted again and didn't get good references when they left. It still makes me squirm today.
Ive seen it heaps with IT guys in small companies. They make the computer illeterate manager think that they are AMAZING and the company would die without them. So as a result they get massive pay checks to keep them on board. It always horrifies me to see the Manager's being taken advantage of because they are led to believe that the IT guy really needs that $5000 Mac with the $3000 software to work from home. Idiots. But I have seen it a lot.
Personally, I haven't ever taken a thing! I've made the ocassional call to hubby's cell to say "pick me up" or something, but im pretty good. I totally abuse the internet though (ah, like right now...)The chick next to me calls England weekly...
We're govt folk here so I imagine that we will get managers breathing down our necks shortly. However I can't imagine anybody nicking anything here, because we've simply got nothing even faintly interesting.
The most you could possibly flog would be a couple of reams of A4, or perhaps some sticky plasters out of the first aid kit.
You couldn't *pay* me to take the coffee we have here out of the building. It's absolute muck.
@ Leon #5 .. I'm in the same boat.. We've been told to stop printing so much stuff because printer cartridges cost 350 a piece.
I wouldn't put it past someone to nick the Milo though its about the only thing worth taking if you like Milo. I refuse to drink the tea or coffee or the food that the cafeteria cooks because I value my health if not my sanity.
My friend is a nurse and never buys panadol, plasters etc, just takes them from the hospital. She also nicks pregnancy test kits for any of her friends who might need one. They cost $10 each at the chemist, so it's a good saving. She may well take other stuff too, but she doesn't tell me about that...
When I was working in Ireland in the finanical services industry, the facilites staff who looked after stationary supplies (amongst other things) used to stock up on stationary everytime school term started, as parents would simply get their kids' supplies from work instead of buying it themselves. I was rather gobsmacked. I have been known to 'borrow' the odd pen, but these guys were talking pens, refil, exercise books/notepads, rulers, staplers, pencil sharpers - the lot.
Nothing beyond the odd pen and pad. And I only take them home for work purposes. Yeah right.
Oh and one highlighter..but that lives in my bag so arguably its at work all the time I am.
I used to LOVE being in charge of the stationery at work. Everyone used to get nice new refills for their pens each week, there were always cool paper clips and little bits like that. I have way too many work pens in my bag, but it's by accident. I pick up a pen to use it at work (when I can't find mine) and then it ends up in my bag as I go on break or something. My mum took a calculator once - oooh rebel! I hear you say. I work for a bank and so there's nothing too interesting to take (let's not go down the money road here) and if I did take something (like paper) it all has the bank logo on it. Would be a little obvious where I got it from then!!!
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I order all the stationery at work and I am convinced that stuff disappears.. Highlighters especially.. I've ordered hundreds this year and they just disappear.. coloured manilla folders disappear too. Pens not so much.. although I probably take the odd one home by accident.
At my last job however not at store I worked at but at another one a guy sold about 10k worth of product for cash that he pocketed... he got caught of course but he got off pretty lightly by being forced to resign and refused a reference... no police. They did get me a pair of new shoes for free though after the ones they originally bought me got ruined in a work place accident, I never wore them at work and now have a sweet pair (actually attractive) of steel cap shoes.