'Possessed' printer tops Trade Me list

TOM HUNT
Last updated 13:06 30/12/2013
possessed printer

POSSESSED: This printer looks harmless enough, but seller Nick Ward listed it on Trade Me warning it was ''evil incarnate".

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As a printer it was abysmal but once it hit online auction site Trade Me a ''possessed'' HP wireless printer rocked the charts.

The listing by a Wellington seller not only topped Trade Me's most viewed listings for 2013 but demolished all those in its wake.

Trade Me spokesman Paul Ford said it was the second-most viewed item of all time, only beaten by the handbag Tana Umaga used to beat Hurricanes teammate Chris Masoe over the head after 2006's Super 14 final.

Gathering more than 1.3 million views, the printer's closest competitor was a massive rear-projection 43-inch Toshiba television which got just shy of 175,000 views.

While a printer would, on the surface, appear dull as dish water, the creatively-penned listing is doubtlessly what grabbed people's attention.

''Words cannot express how much I hate this printer,'' Kapiti Coast seller Nickftward said on the listing. 

''It never works when I need it to - it's like it knows when I have to urgently print something. It randomly decides if it wants to work wirelessly or not. And scanning wirelessly? Forget about it!''

Despite the diatribe about the ''evil incarnate'' printer that was ''possessed'' with a '' soul of pure darkness'' and made life a ''misery'', it sold in July this year.

The seller did mention it might work for another user or, in other words: ''Maybe you can tame it.''

Film maker Nick Ward, who sold the printer, said bidding got to the billions of dollars but, after fake bids were removed, it sold for $280 to ''Rick Danger'' of Te Aroha.

"I phoned him up and he said 'smash it','' Mr Ward said.

So in a pre-recorded television piece Mr Ward ''ripped it to pieces.''

He call Rick Danger up to reduce the price to $100 but when he said he just wanted enough money to take his partner out for dinner, the generous buyer insisted on upping it to $150 so they could get a good bottle of wine.
Mr Ward, a successful film maker, had written a book about the sale but was struggling to find a publisher.

The full top ten:

1: HP Wireless Printer (possessed), Wellington, 1,319,214 views.

2: 43-inch Toshiba Television, Canterbury, 174,713 views.

3: Same sex marriage original billboard skin, Auckland, 121,795 views.

4: Treasure Hunting Day for real Gold & Silver, Auckland, 116,637 views.

5: Luxury Villa Playhouse, Auckland, 90,861 views.

6: Dodgy Little Shop Collectables - Limited Edition, Otago 84,639 views.

7: Help SPCA animals - $1 3-bedroom home charity auction, Canterbury, 54,776 views.

8: VW pencil drawing - by mouth, Auckland, 48,250 views.

9: Kindling Cracker, Taranaki, 45,900 views.

10: Name the World's Biggest Spider, Wellington, 45,745 views.

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