The end of the world as we know it

Last updated 16:09 19/12/2012
Will Smith

Only hope: You can't hope to survive without the help of Will Smith.

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Kapiti Observer

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With doomsayers predicting the end of the world on Friday due to the Mayan calendar ending, reporter Ben Strang takes a light hearted look at how to survive the end of the world.

Using an extensive movie library, common knowledge, and some Kiwi ingenuity, I think we've got a good chance of waking up alive on Saturday morning.

Of course, I haven't had the chance to try any of this in an end-of-the-world situation yet, so it may need tweaking after Friday.

Food:

With the end of the world just around the corner, you'll need some supplies to live on.

Cans of food are good, if you're not worried about the weight of them. My suggestion is One Square Meals.

They are light, good for you, and will keep you going for weeks after the end of the world. Available from dairies or supermarkets.

Weapons:

As the world ends, there is a good chance the odd zombie could be lurking around, sniffing out fresh flesh, so wielding some kind of weapon is a must. My item of choice would be a cricket bat, but softball bats and crowbars are equally effective.

High ground:

Meteors or comets have a good chance of dealing the planet a fatal blow. With the impact sending massive tsunamis across the globe, getting to high ground could be the thing that saves your life. But . . .

Avoid volcanoes:

You don't want to have gone to the effort of moving to high ground, only for a volcano to erupt and wipe you out. With all these major earthquakes occurring around the Ring of Fire, maybe it is the volcanoes that will destroy the world as we know it.

Take Vitamin C:

What's the bet a superbug wipes out earth's population. If that is the case, you're gonna need to keep healthy, and avoid getting the flu. While Vitamin C might not be 100 per cent proven to stop the flu, it won't hurt. A face mask could help keep away airborne diseases.

Just to be safe, take plenty of cold and flu medication, and don't forget your first aid kit.

Will Smith:

You can't hope to survive without the help of Will Smith.

He's fought zombies, aliens, robots and diseases, and almost always lived to tell the tale. Even if he doesn't survive, chances are he will have got you through to a safe zone or blown up the alien mothership.

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- Kapiti Observer

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