'I just never thought it would happen to me'

BY BRITTON BROUN

Last updated 05:00 13/07/2009

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Wellington

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An hour into a night out in Courtenay Place a university student's innocent fun turned into a living nightmare when she was raped in a dark toilet cubicle.

In April 2007 the 19-year-old, whom we will call Sarah, slugged back a bottle of Scrumpy in a drinking game and went into town with friends around midnight.

Without cash or a cellphone she soon left the group and stumbled towards home alone, into the path of two strangers.

They offered her use of a shop toilet off College St; instead one man undressed and raped her in an unlit handicapped cubicle.In February, a man was convicted of rape and another of being party to rape.

For Sarah, it has been a journey "to hell and back".

With blurred memories of what happened, she was racked by self- doubt, wondering if the rape had even happened. She failed her studies, plunged into depression and had to endure tough questioning at the trial.

"I drove myself crazy for a year and a half," she says. "I just had scenarios of what may have happened running through my head and couldn't concentrate.

"I just didn't want to talk about it, I just didn't want to know about it because I felt really responsible."

Now she has left Wellington, resumed her studies elsewhere, goes to counselling, helps out with rape crisis and spends most of her nights out as the sober driver, keeping a close eye on her friends.

And she is always prepared, carrying a phone and at least $50 taxi money in her wallet.

THOUGH Sarah was left alone on that night, she does not blame her friends. "Sticking with your mates is a really big thing, but at the same time you should be responsible for yourself.

"I don't totally blame myself, but if I hadn't been drinking that night it wouldn't have happened.

"I didn't really have a care in the world, I just never thought it would happen to me. You have a few drinks and think you're 10-foot- tall and bulletproof, but you're not." She believes university drinking culture, with students getting plastered every night between Wednesday and Saturday, is very dangerous.

But she refuses to let it ruin her life and says she has learnt some valuable lessons.

"I've had to learn the hard way. Hopefully other people can learn from experiences like mine."

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