Toasting the terrible All Blacks with several Tuis

By DUNCAN JOHNSTONE - Stuff.co.nz
Last updated 10:52 04/08/2009
All Blacks captain Richie McCaw performs the haka.
Photosport
GIVE ME STRENGTH: All Blacks captain Richie McCaw could be appealing for help from above during the haka before his team's Tri-Nations loss to South Africa in Durban.

Relevant offers

Rugby

Blackadder to throw All Blacks into the fray Don't forget about Jamie Mackintosh Ex-All Blacks star apologises for groping teen Super rugby greats lace up boots again Time for young gun Aaron Cruden to fire Sin-binned Jones keeps place in Wales team Robbie Robinson lines up Super 14 debut Robin Brooke apologisies for Fiji actions Ratepayers face footing Eden Park shortfall Rugby icon Fred 'The Needle' Allen turns 90

The All Blacks' performance at Durban was so bad it seemed a joke. So it's time to hand out some Tui awards.

* At least we've got the depth of talent to get out of this hole.

* The All Blacks always play better after a loss.

* Thank goodness we got the coaches' contracts sorted out so quickly.

* There's always the "when Auckland is strong the All Blacks are strong" theory.

* Tests are the place to play Joe Rokocoko back into form.

* We will keep it simple and throw to the front of the lineout.

* The All Blacks only play this badly at World Cups.

* Gilbert Enoka can sort this out.

* If it hadn't have been for Morne Steyn the All Blacks would have won.

* If it hadn't been for the referee the All Blacks would have won.

* It gets easier from here.

* Don't worry, Dan Carter will get us out of jail all by himself.

* Test matches aren't the place to play percentage rugby.

* The coaches will use the Liam Messam method and axe half the team, publicly berating them for their shortcomings.

* All Blacks teams get better as the season goes on.

* We're spoilt for choice at halfback.

* Robbie Deans is feeling sorry for Graham Henry's side.

* Forget the All Blacks and the Warriors, the Phoenix will get us through winter.

YEAH RIGHT!!

* What do you think? Send us your Tui advert suggestions?

Ad Feedback
161 comments
Post a comment
Patty   #161   01:11 am Aug 10 2009

We will win the Rugby world cup in 2011 with Graham Henry................Yeah right!

Sully   #160   10:31 pm Aug 07 2009

There doesn't seem to be much mention about just how good this Bokker outfit is. They are reigning World champs, are playing like it and have some of the toughest mo-fo's going around in world rugby at present. There is no shame in being beaten by a better team, and they are clearly superior, however there is plenty of work to be done. Carter will not be the panacea to all our issues but he will address some pretty important ones. OUr scrum is going well, the lineouts will sort themselves eventually, not too sure about continuing with Rokocoko so there needs to be a decision there. Still, it is not all doom and gloom as most of NZ would suggest. Robbies mob aren't exectly setting the world on fire, yet from over here (Aust) you would think that it is SA on top only by virtue of a kind draw. Lets wait until 22 August to see where the AB's are really at. You gotta have belief.

Rodney V   #159   09:58 am Aug 06 2009

The ball was out of the scrum!!!!! Yeah right!

Verster   #158   03:01 am Aug 06 2009

You guys need to chill, you don't become a bad side over night, give your boys (AB's) a chance don't right them off just yet, Ill take an outside bet and say your boys still win this thing, have a little more faith in this team you have some of the worlds best players try and be a little more supportive, you all make out if they lose on purpose. I can guarantee the team is hurting and that they going to come back with a vengeance, after all you played a very good SA side in our back yard and were competitive even though the wrong game plan was executed , get the game plan right and results will come your way - the AB's played with a lot of heart and commitment you have to take your hat off, outplayed totally but still had chances to win both games says it all for me. Come on NZ be a little more positive!

Steve W   #157   04:03 pm Aug 05 2009

#56, 59, 69, and 104 - Amen.

Duncan, this is one of the most idiotic examples of facile guttersnipe journalism I have come across in recent times.

This comment board shows how many fair-weather AB supporters there are in New Zealand. Shame on you all.

And, by the bye, bloody well done Boks. Good luck in Aus.

Pam,(Oz)   #156   02:57 pm Aug 05 2009

Hey Guys, Take a good look at your photo of Richie are you sure he's doing the haka, can't see any aggression their, looks more like he's pleading to God to let them win.

Joe   #155   10:23 am Aug 05 2009

I dont know about you other guys but in the gap weeks before we play the Wallabies why dont we have a New Zealand A v the All Blacks game with reputations and form and all the other arguements put on the line. Guys like Liam Messam Adam Thomson Anthony Tuatuvaki would get a chance to prove themselves and the public interest would be high similar to the old trials.It would also help the ABs especially the reserves to find some form in a pressure game. It would also help answer a few questions for Henry and co ahead of time instead of making blunders over selections in crucial tests only to change them the following week eg Brendon Leonard , and many others .Tew and his cronies could even make some money out of it with TV rights .

Jrod   #154   10:14 am Aug 05 2009

This team will win the world cup!

michael   #153   09:26 am Aug 05 2009

Joe 148# We need more small minded redneck New Zealanders

Bet you weren't complaining when Michael Jones and Jonah Lomu were doing the rounds ;)

el bazman   #152   09:13 am Aug 05 2009

Don't worry about the abs performance, at least petrol is coming down in price.


Show 102-151 of 161 comments

Post comment


Required

Required. Will not be published.
Registration is not required to post a comment but if you sign in, you will not have to enter your details each time you comment. Registered members also have access to extra features. Create an account now.

I have read and accepted the terms and conditions
These comments are moderated. Your comment, if approved, may not appear immediately. Please direct any queries about comment moderation to the Opinion Editor at blogs@stuff.co.nz
Special offers

Featured Promotions