My Girlfriend Is a Morrissey Fan...

By SIMON SWEETMAN

Last updated 10:08 06/03/2009

...which pretty much makes me a Morrissey Fan. A while back I made that comment. I substituted the word girlfriend for wife because the person who was my girlfriend is now my wife.

I was taking my cue from Jules; Samuel L. Jackson's character in the movie Pulp Fiction. He of course is talking about vegetarianism. Morrissey was in a band (you may have heard of them) that had an album called Meat Is Murder which made 15-year-old girls around the world swear that they would never eat meat ever again and then, when they thought no one was looking, hiding behind a refrigerator door, you could be sure of the disturbing sound of luncheon being swallowed without being chewed (like a slurp of tea, only, er, meatier).

Anyway, I realise now that my heading for today's post could read like a Morrissey song title. His latest album, Years of Refusal, has the lead single, I'm Throwing My Arms around Paris. It's a pretty good song - if you like Morrissey, or are married to/going out with a Morrissey fan.

There's also the overwrought and melodramatic Morrissey of One Day Goodbye Will Be Farewell - as in the context of Sylvia Plath when she said: "goodbye...I'll just make some scones first..."

Elsewhere there's You Were Good in Your Time (possibly rich coming from the Moz-man, but of course that's surely part of the joke; so the sycophants/fans will say) and the album opens with Something Is Squeezing My Skull.

You can always be sure of a quirky, humorous, thoroughly over-the-top title when it comes to collections of new Morrissey songs. In fact, you can usually be sure of up to half a dozen. One of the first things I knew about Morrissey was that he wrote funny/silly/pretentious/twitty song titles; that was before I knew what his songs really sounded like.

I'm thinking of We Hate It When Our Friends Become Successful and You're The One for Me, Fatty - there's also Pregnant for the Last Time and The More You Ignore Me, the Closer I Get. What about the barmy Ouija Board, Ouija Board? And then there's Yes, I Am Blind (not a Stevie Wonder cover).

And I'm scratching the surface.

I came to enjoy some of Morrissey's post-Smiths music because of his cover of Moon River. It showed me he could a) sing and b) he had taste in what made a good song.

And then in 2004 there was the "comeback" album - it had been a few years in the wilderness - You Are the Quarry. It had some more Morrissey-esque song titles, as Morrissey of course is wont to do: I Have Forgiven Jesus was particularly bold of him. And later on in the same album the one-two of The World Is Full of Crashing Bores and How Could Anybody Possibly Know How I Feel?

I liked this album a lot; I heard the birth of Morrissey as a crooner - picking up on the version of Moon River from the cheap World of Morrissey compilation I had purchased way back when.

So this new album, his ninth studio album by my count (should really check with the wife...), is pretty good. It's not, to my ears, as strong as the return with Quarry - and it's not quite as punchy as 2006's Ringleader of the Tormentors. But fans (and spouses of fans) will hear the crooner of Quarry and Ringleader attempting to get back to the rockabilly vibe of Your Arsenal and the strength and sweep of Vauxhall & I. (There are some stumbles toward Maladjusted territory too though.)

It's a good album rather than an absolute great album - but that's on an early listen and what do I know as the husband of a fan anyway? Right?

I like that Morrissey is attempting to redefine his sound, re-evaluating his approach, with each album; falling back on to the cliché of just being Morrissey and just writing a Morrissey song from time to time but also stretching out for at least 50% of each new album.

A friendly wee lass from Universal Music in NZ (who is both friendly and wee, though maybe not as friendly after I called her wee a total of three times now) has offered me three copies of the album to give away.

I thought - after a week of making you read interviews while you adjust to Stuff's new look - that we should have some Friday fun.

Morrissey Album Cover

So, how about we see who can come up with The Best Morrissey Song Title That Is Not Actually a Song (and no you can't just use The Best Morrissey Song Title That Is Not Actually a Song even though - in italics - it sorta passes.

You Cannot Win By Just Using Italics and Capital Letters. (Damn, that sorta works too!?)

No, I am looking for wit, wisdom, in-jokes, satire, farce, fans of Morrissey (and spouses), non-fans of Morrissey (and spouses) and, yes, vegetarians too.

If Vegetarians Love Animals So Much Why Do They Eat All Their Food? - Moz would never write that - but that, plus the title of today's post, is my contribution.

The three best attempts - only one will count by each person, though you can have more than one go (you just can't win more than one prize) - will earn a copy of Years of Refusal.

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