Worst albums this year (so far)
Time for a bit of a purge. These are the worst albums I have had to review this year (so far). Are any of these also on your list of terrible albums? Got others you care to add to this list? What has been your biggest disappointment of the year? I can't say I was too surprised with any of these - but it was a real shame to hear Chris Cornell do that to himself - he can only bounce back if he reforms Soundgarden.
Every time an album like this is released I cringe, thinking it is getting harder to justify an interest in hip-hop. I know - as does anyone with open ears - that this version of hip-hop has nothing to do with anything producers like Flying Lotus, Madlib and People Under The Stairs are producing. But you can start to feel guilty by association.
I have always defended mainstream hip-hop as serving its purpose and, once or twice a decade, there are some stars of the movement who offer a form of transcendence (Jay-Z, Eminem, Dr Dre) but The Game was a manufactured star, following on from 50 Cent, who followed from Eminem. And it feels ridiculous even giving this guy time, because his rhymes are not sharp and his flow is nothing special - he is a puppet, a gimmick and this album really shows that with the guest-stars dominating.
There are some welcome interruptions (Ice Cube, Nas, Common) but the numerous shout-outs to how amazing Kanye West is (not true by the way) and the dominance of other voices means this record has no soul to it. And despite millions of detractors never getting this point, good hip-hop is all about soul.
(And here is the live review from The Game's recent visit to Porirua.)
SOULJA BOY TELL EM
iSoulja Boy Tell Em
He was born DeAndre Cortez Way and in an apparent move away from a ridiculous name now goes under the moniker Soulja Boy Tell Em or Soulja Boy for short. His big hit single, Crank That, was also called Soulja Boy - that was from his 2007 debut album, Soulja Boy Tell Em.Com.
This new album is called iSoulja Boy Tell Em and features a song called Soulja Boy Tell Em. Anyone else noticing a pattern? I know what you're thinking, this review is so far not very informative. But I'd like to disagree, because in fact this review has already said more than Soulja Boy Tell Em has in his career to date and therefore it has also already told you more than you need to know about this artist and the horrific nature of his music.
This bunch of ring-tones with awkward squawks adding to the horror, surpasses the Insane Clown Posse's double re-mix album, which I had to listen to two years ago, in the absurdity stakes. Consider this, the Clown Posse is two (overly) grown men who had sideline careers as professional wrestlers and dress as clowns. And...they're insane. And this album is worse. I believe that is all you need to know.
Bryan Mahoney is Big B, apparently. He is a member of the rap-rock group, OPM and as a solo artist has released the non-masterpieces, High Class White Trash and White Trash Renegade. Here he suggests he's the American Underdog - but that's not true. He's an over-represented part of mainstream society, singing about how he's only interested in "hot women, cold beers and really good drugs". And then, "all my friends are criminals/all my friends are bad guys/all my friends are low lives/they won't think twice to take your life". Nice.
Take Kid Rock (please, take him...) and strip any talent you perceive him to have (you'll need tweezers and a microscope) and then you have Big B. This is the sort of album you could probably pass off to friends as a comedy album. But for that to happen you would need to listen to it for more than two or three minutes - by which time you might no longer have friends. So, it's not really worth it. And because of that, this review ends here.
Several of the songs on The Fray - the American b(l)and's first album in four years (and by several I actually mean all of them) feel like they might be played during the final minutes of an episode of Scrubs. You know the part I mean? Where JD's narration gets a little more serious and the time-lapsed footage of all the characters making their own discoveries gives both JD and the audience a moment to reflect.
You have to wonder how an album like this makes it to the top of the charts. But then, you stop, as you are forced to think about it, and you realise that people still watch Scrubs. And the people have a right to hear sub-par Coldplay-lite dribble behind the dramedy scenes in a no-longer-funny primetime TV show. That is the right of the people. And that is why we have bands like The Fray. This collection of minor-key whinge-songs features several sung in a faux-John Mayer voice - that vaguely asthmatic delivery that is such a hit with the ladies. Make this the soundtrack to your next Sunday morning spent flipping through catalogues for new kitchen ideas.
Something is wrong with the world when a man who has a set of lungs on him like Chris Cornell wants to use a Vocoder to give his voice a computer-generated, hiccupped slur. The voice of Soundgarden, before going on to milk the one-note idea that was Audioslave, Cornell recorded two solo albums before Scream, book ending Audisoslave's career.
But this record really is something else. And not in a good way. Ditching his rock roots - as you will see by that symbolic cover shot of him smashing his guitar - to hook up with hip-hop producer Timbaland to make a pop album; there might some logic if this album was released on April 1 and available only until lunchtime, as it stands it is a confused and confusing set of nonsense songs in which Cornell attempts to sell his found sound to the tween market.
It's embarrassing, insulting, absurd and yet, in many ways, more interesting than Cornell's last solo album. Where that plodded along Scream is right in your face. You'll just wish, very quickly that it wasn't. Apparently, it's not just Kanye West that ditches a semi-respectable career for an indulgent stab at directionless pop. Who knew?!
Tramar Dillard is better known as Flo Rida - last year's Mail On Sunday featured the huge pop hit, Low from the movie Step Up 2 The Streets. Now, R.O.O.T.S appears, barely a year later and the big pop hit is Jump with a plucky performance from Nelly Furtado - one of the handiest celebrity-cameo backing vocalists to have on board. Other guests include Ne-Yo, Akon, Wynter and Wyclef Jean, none of which make any impact at all.
There are a couple of other catchy mainstream hip-hop cuts, riding on overly obvious samples of 1980s hits (including an embarrassing rip of Dead Or Alive's You Spin Me Round (Like A Record). It would be easy to say that this album serves its purpose; that it is not hurting anyone, that it is really not that bad - but that would be a shortcut to thinking. What this album represents is the finest - for right now - in ring tone rap; this is a set of songs that will be downloaded to phones, used for a month and then replaced by the latest droning, groaning hip-hop monkey aping pop, rock and rap music but saying nothing original. It's harmless, sure, but - and here's the rap-rhyme - it's also charm-less.
Perhaps you would like to defend any of these choices as good albums? And yes I am aware that most of them fall in to the hip-hop/rap genre. Part of the reason mainstream listeners will never give other hip-hop artists a chance - they are bombarded with this obvious (c)rap.
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The Killers "Day and Age" and GnR's "Chinese Democracy". I know you reviewed GnR favourably, but for me it swung between far too emo and unrelenting wall of sound to get beyond one listen. As for The Killers, the lyrics and sound were just too silly to be taken seriously as cutting edge pop.
Simon Simon Simon? You know SO much, read SO much!, Listen so much!! to too MUCH music and I admire you for it but HEY! TOO MUCH INFO is too much! keep it simple! mate!
Katy must be so understanding.......you lucky bugger! ;-)
CHEERS I'm jealous (bit like the gamers blog I wanna PLAY!) hehehe
@ Amanda - you're spot on with the Killer's Day and Age. I've always liked the Killers but their first two albums were half good songs, half filler, but with this one I think there were two good songs, two filler tracks and the rest was just plain AWFUL. I hope I never hear the song Joyride again.
Couldnt have sat thru any of those at all Shudder twitch
will add White Lies "To Lose My Life" trajik & not in a good way sub Smiths "misery is cool" nonsense.
Chris Cornell takes the prize! That 'Scream' album is woeful and nauseating, sounding like a wannabe Justin Timberlake (or some other horrible manufactured teeny pop artist).That a once great Rock singer can plummet such depths is deeply disturbing...(it rates down there with Dee Dee Ramone deciding to do a "rap" album) While his output is probably marginally better than Soulja Boy's album, you really can't expect great things from a "hip hop" artist(and I use the term "artist" loosely).. Whereas, Cornell was once a greatly respected musician, with the emphasis on "once"! RIP Soundgarden and Cornell's credibility.
As soon as I was one sentence into your blog, I thought Flo-Rida! So, spot on with that one. Even more absurd than the music was Joanna Hunkin's (NZH) review - trying to claim it wasn't sexually explicit. "You make my head spin round, round, round, when you go down, down, down...". Uh-huh... What about the Black Eyed Peas? I don't get them. Their lyrics are a cross between Hi-5 and the Vengaboys. Seriously, try reading the words to Tonight's Going to be a Good Night.
@ Luke and Amanda - the Killers album is a grower. I only liked two songs at first, second, third and forth listen. Now I like 80% Certainly not one of the worst albums of the year. Great gig too.
@ Andrew, Black Eyed Peas is another kettle of (rank) fish altogether. Refused to review that album. Awful.
I have to say I agree with that whole list, especially The Fray and Flo Rida. OK Right Round was a little bit catchy but Sugar was a disaster, I physically feel pain when it plays.
And The Fray need to stop whining.
Then there's Soulja Boy, who is just on a whole other level of rubbish. He has a song called Gucci Bandanna that plays sometimes on C4, that is, once again, painful.
Looking forward to Mariah's new album ...
My better, and far prettier, other half is a big fan of The Fray (yes, they exist, and she loves Scrubs too, so you may have that bang on). I had not much time for them, and with the exception of one or two songs on their most recent album, still don't, as a recorded artist. But... I bought her tix to them when they were here (late last year?), and as a live group, they really weren't too bad. There was a bit more variation, they threw in some interesting covers (including Kanye - Heartless). Now, maybe it's the fact that I freakin' love live music, and so a lot of groups sound much better when I'm there, getting carried away, but I certainly left that gig having enjoyed it much more than I expected...
I've got no opinion on The Game's musical talents one way or the other, but I thought the TV ad he did for the tour (seen on C4) was one of the least inspirational "makes-me-want-to-go-to-the-gig" promotional clips I have ever seen. He came across as bored, uninterested and distracted and not at all excited about coming down here, like he was only doing it because his contract said so.
As for the Fray....totally agreed. Nasal whining delivery isn't earnest or meaningful, its just annoying. Generates an instant change of radio station when I hear it in the car.