Guest Blog: Anika Moa

I was going to interview Anika Moa - then I thought that she might like to just write a blog for me; a guest blog. After her appearance at this year's music awards someone suggested that Anika Moa could even interview herself... well, let this show that I follow up on things suggested (unless it requires singing a Britney Spears song).

Here now is Anika Moa... interviewed by...Anika Moa...

AM: So Anika Moa, if that is your real name, wots up grrl? Where u been at?

AM: Well if I can just start by saying that my real name is Anika Moa. My mum thought of it while doing a poo on the toilet. That's what she told me but she might have been angry when she told me.

My siblings are all named after famous musicians except for poor old me. Richard, after Little Richard, Carlos after Carlos Santana, Marcia (this one unnerves me) after Marcia Hines, Rhiannon after the song by Fleetwood Mac, Reno after some guitarist  Reno Whatsisname and I can't remember the other ones, there's too many kids in my whanau.

Anyways, so I'm not named after anyone and my name is Greek, not Swedish or Maori which I'm a bit annoyed about. The funny thing is that I am the only musician in the family so go figure, huh. (Lol. Lmao. Limmool).

But apart from that I'm real good and I've been living in Orewa with my fiancée who is a woman (is that even possible?) and I'm currently touring around New Zealand with my fiancée who we'll call Azaria Universe (if that is her real name?) and also my oddball band of musicians who include Nick Gaffaney (Cairo Knife Fight) and Chip Matthews (Opensouls, Base FM DJ) and Julia Deans supporting.

AM: Cool one.

AM: Cheers.

AM: What is your style of music?

AM: F**k off!

But anyways, I thought doing another New Zealand tour would be good for my career after pretty much headlining the winery tour two years in a row. (Who the f**k are Brooke Fraser and Dave Dobbyn?)

My manager (we'll call him Tom Dalton) and I sorted out all the places we wanted to head to. My input was "Granity cos I went there last year and got pissed with the locals at their one and only pub and then a Maori guy tried to get us to go home for a crayfish meal. Little did he know I'm not the kind of sort-of darkie who likes seafood, I'm more of a chicken and avocado Panini kind of lesbian."

My other input was Stewart Island cos it's close to Antarctica and I was sure we'd get something free from the locals, right? Free bird watching? Free off the pier fishing? Free bush walking? We chose a handful of other towns too. Fun!

So we book all the venues, some of them pubs, some memorial halls and everything in between.

Skipping out all the tour preparations because I'm bored of this story already, we are now on the road, touring, rocking out with our c$%ts out and really enjoying the scenery.

The shows have been up and down. Mostly up. The most important things I focus on are getting the set list right which is my very own nightmare. And what kind of booze all the punters are drinking. I think you get the feel (or wairua as I'd say) of a town by how much they consume and what exactly they consume. Take Akaroa for example:  they drank us out of white wine.  Enuff said. Granity: hippy-ville, artist ville, drunken old men-ville. Beer. Enuff said. Ranfurly: they drunk everything, beer, wine, water out of the toilet...

But I digress. It's all about the music on this blog isn't it?

Well, I am showing off some brand new songs which who the f**k knows how well they go down because everyone is way too pissed to even care.  Or are they? Do I underestimate my audiences? Probably not. What a bitch.

How to do a good set list that doesn't bore the audience and myself for that matter? I want to start with the new songs cos they're rockier than all the acoustic mellow older songs.

I want to put some favourites in there for all the people who only like the singles. I want to play some rare b-side s**t that only I would ever like, I want to be in with the cool crowd and play my electro Korg machine and recite things about the 80s in my songs, I want to do covers of the Beatles songs but am I being too gay (no offence to the gays) and try hard? I just want to be loved by these people coming to my shows. I am insecure and egotistical and it has to be silent when I play or it's not the truth.

AM: Do you ever get annoyed when people ask you in interviews about your massive and I mean massive recording contract in the States and how you blew them off to come home and have a recording career here instead of giving it a go over there even though they insisted you lose weight, write only pop songs, wear Beverly Hills 90210 clothes and smile so much for the radio stations and other big-wigs that you now have a permanent sore jaw?

And then you come home and figure it's no big deal, only a recording contract to get rich and famous but you lose your unique identity in the process and some c**khead from Manawatu Times says you gave the chance of a lifetime away and you just want to smash him in the c**k and you say to yourself it's ok, New Zealanders are so weird and unsupportive and they always assume we want to make it big in America but we DON'T.

There's more to life than slogging it out, changing your personality, writing music you end up hating because you're not writing for yourself anymore. Isn't there?

AM: Yes it's so weird how much you understand me interviewer!?!

AM: So back to the music, do you have any plans to record and release yet another great album in the future Anika?

AM: Yup in December.

AM: What are you hoping to achieve with your next album?

AM: You know, the usual: album sales and spins on the radio. Oh and I hope to write an album that I'm happy with, that really lets the audience know who I am as an artist. It's going to be pop rock. I'm sooo bored with myself.

AM: Okay I'm getting bored too so let's wind it down eh, you're a singer/ songwriter, you're on the road, you're loving these towns your playing in, you have an amazing band, you're showcasing your new songs.....but what's new?

AM: I know! I understand! This is what my job is. Record, release, tour. Repeat process every two years. Am I interesting? Only if you truly know me or if you 'get' my soundz. Am I funny? Well yes I am, but only on stage. Am I anyone's cup of tea? Proof is in the album sales. Lol. Lmfao. Lilo. That's a yes then. Sort of.

AM:  Here's a tricky one, do you support and like kiwi music?

AM: Well that's a firm yes from me. Because I understand what it takes to go through the process right from the start. I understand how amazing it can be but how awful it can be. How you can be judged for doing something you're passionate about. You're hot, you're not. It's not about that for me, oh but I do care what people think of me of course. I wouldn't be a true humanzoid if I didn't care. Even hippies in Nelson care what people think of them, and the racists in Christchurch care what we think. The North Shore hoes even care.

I think being a musician in this country is very hard, the comments about the copycat American rap music, the singer/songwriter genre and the feelers. It's a small country.

Being a reviewer I can imagine would be even harder, well except if you're Simon Sweetman; he thrives on feedback from his hardcore lay-down-the-law comments and reviews. You're a hard man Simon.(That's from Once Were Warriors) but at least you're honest in yourself, you know what you like and what you don't like...even though I sometimes don't agree with you and think you're a wally.

New Zealanders know what Kiwi music appeals to them and if it's a band or artist you hate, don't hate on them. It's all about originality. I support kiwi music till the cows haere ki te kainga (come home).

AM: So who are your favourite New Zealand artists then?

AM: [silence for half an hour] It's getting late I better get going. Just jokes.

AM: Well Anika you've definitely got a lot to say, you should do a regular blog since you're quite talented and real good with words. We could go further into it but shall we leave it till next week? A quick summary of this interview:

You're touring. Well done.
You really like Kiwi music. Awesome.
You're a sexy sex kitten. That's a given.
Good luck with everything you gem of a woman.

PS: Heard you are going to be a judge on Maorioke, you are so down with the maaaaoooorriiiis girl!

xx

A list of Anika's fave things:

guitars
vocal coaches
driftwood
lemonade
gay bars
Wellington gay bars
fish pie
Dan Carter's body
John Keyes
Helen Clarkes
writing blogs

 

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