Vodafone NZ Music Awards 2010

Last updated 10:38 04/10/2010

This week the New Zealand Music Industry - aka the Auckland Music Industry - will pat itself on the back with the Vodafone NZ Music Awards.

Vodafone NZ Music Back-PatA new comedian/host has been chosen - Ben Hurley replacing Dai Henwood.

And some new initiatives were planned this award season. First, a "critics choice" prize...the winner was supposed to be a band that did not have an album out at the time of judging. Two of the three finalists released their albums within weeks of the judging. The winner was Street Chant - good on them, I like their album - but it's a strange award.

It seems odd to have music critics choosing an award-winner when an album is not part of the judging. Most music critics mostly review albums, after all.

There were also meant to be two showcase gigs - one in Wellington and one in Christchurch. A chance to take a part of the awards show on the road, to take it out of Auckland; in the end these shows never happened. So we can all tune in for Ben Hurley's "jokes" and the annual Auckland backpat later this week.

You don't think it's a backpat? Last year Brooke Fraser won an award for international success - basically a way of reminding Kiwis she still existed in a year or two without an album and her taking off to sing church music in Australia. The award was presented to her by her manager - the organiser of the awards - whom she then thanked during her speech while he stood on stage. Sick-making.

This year the Auckland Music Industry/New Zealand Music Industry will be celebrating Dane Rumble, no doubt - he is up for five awards. You might think he is up for the Best Worst Haircut, Best Worst Lyricist, Best Biggest Sellout, Best Desperate Second Shot at Fame After Already Fronting a Band That Got Nominated for SiSuckome Awards and Disappeared Swiftly on the Back of Empty Hype and Best Worst Album with a Chance To Win an iPhone in the Cover awards. But apparently he is not. Apparently he is up for Album of the Year, Single of the Year, Breakthrough Artist, Pop Album and Best Male - what a joke.

This year the part of Ladyhawke will be played by Gin Wigmore. She arrives back in time to no doubt sweep a bunch of awards - fighting it out for the most part with Dane Rumble (Wigmore obviously nominated in the Best Female rather than Best Male category).

In a stroke of perfect timing - what a coincidence - Wigmore returns to New Zealand in time to sweep whatever awards are handed to her, having hardly ever made her home here. She will then go on a victory-lap national tour. Her ecstatic record label will have the press release already typed out - just waiting to add in the number of awards.

Gin Wigmore should be forced to listen to her own dreadful Under My Skin song whenever/however she travels around New Zealand on this tour. She has made the annoying part of flying - listening to the same safety announcement despite subtly, every aircraft being different - even more annoying.

It's my hope that The Phoenix Foundation will win a few awards - they've already won three technical awards; these are apparently too boring to present on the night. A shame given that two of the awards were for Engineer and Producer, rather crucial to the sound of the music I would have thought and therefore worth reminding people that a record producer and engineer is a hugely important part of the process; but no.

Hopefully Phoenix Foundation will win the Best Group and Best Album categories - in a victory for common sense.

This is the sort of band we should be honouring; they have created a) something original and distinctive, something that stands apart from the pack - a sound and b) a career. These guys are practically veterans. Along with Shihad and Anika Moa they are the "oldies" in a crowd of nobodies that will be gone next year.

Where is Ladyhawke now? What did all those awards do for her? Those awards were crucial to the record company's plans for a "deluxe edition" repackaging of her album. And that's about it. She has probably sold a few of them on Trade Me to buy up some more Pat Benatar B-sides to rip off for album number two.

A deluxe edition of Gin Wigmore's album has already been prepared. The press-release has gone out but it will be rewritten for first thing Friday morning to include much crowing about the tour and the awards. The represented album will be represented again.

Does she get Under Your Skin?Pffff...

Postscript:
Once again I was asked to be one of the judges - along with however many other people. I do it because I figure that someone has to try to keep the likes of Rumble, Gin and Kids of 88 out of the running. I see looking at this list of this year's nominees, released weeks ago, that it didn't work.

And we get nothing for it. I'm not saying we should. But they offer you a half-price single ticket to attend the event. No travel, no accommodation, no extra ticket, no actual ticket - just a discount.

It doesn't bother me, I know I italicised to make it sound like it does, but I just want to highlight how lame the offer is.  I don't ever want to go to the award ceremony because I don't believe in these awards at all. I do my ticking of internet boxes, sure, and I don't expect anything for it. But somehow being told that I can reserve a discounted ticket to the event and pay my own way seems like even less than nothing - it seems like an insult.

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82 comments
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Dandy   #1   10:54 am Oct 04 2010

Ahh awards ceremonies, self congratulatory, in-house bore-fests since ages ago...

Bring on the NZ version of Jarvis Cocker mooning MJ to at least create SOME diversion from mediocre folk with too much cheap plonk on board making awful speeches, please...

asdf   #2   10:54 am Oct 04 2010

great article that sums up music awards shows. I hold the opinionthat the grammy's, NZMA's et al. are just an excuse for the music industry (Sony, EMI, Universal, Warner) to pat itself on the back for selling millions of albums and make a bucket laod of cash.

Just a note on the judging side of things. I would have thought if they wanted the job done properly they'd look after them, so actual thought and reasoning can be applied to nominations. If you don't look after judges then you can't expect them to waste time making good nomination choices.

Nathan   #3   10:55 am Oct 04 2010

Totally agree with you there Simon. As for Ms Wigmore, I am told she sounds good live so the lovely wife is taking me to see her when she plays here in Shakytown in a couple of weeks. Her voice grates a little(Gin, not the lovely wife's) but it is good disposable pop music I guess which is what pop music is all about. Whenever I see a Dane Rumble video it looks like he is channelling Dirk Diggler from Boogie Nights and would not be at all suprised if he does a cover of "You Got The Touch". The Phoenix Foundation are fabulous.

Vanessa   #4   10:56 am Oct 04 2010

Simon Sweetman, didn't yo mama ever tell you that if you don't have anything nice to say, keep yo mouth shut?

guy   #5   11:04 am Oct 04 2010

here we go again.. the broken record spins on. you again (zzzzz) sound like a child throwing their toys. wah wah i didn't get given vip tickets. wah wah i didn't want to go anyway. you're the insult.

alex   #6   11:06 am Oct 04 2010

I like Phoenix Foundation, but the latest album was boring...a real snorefest

GW   #7   11:08 am Oct 04 2010

Dane Rumble - Best Worst Haircut; Gold.

Gin Wigmore; Talentless. Every time she is on TV she appears goggle-eyed and high on life (or possibly crack) burbling stock inanities and plumping the latest tour, while some fawning journo hack (John Campbell last time I think) goes through the usual 'kiwi girl makes it big' routine. More importantly, do you think she could fit her fist in her mouth? It might alleviate that awful croaking that somehow passes for singing.

Phoenix Foundation - Do they have an award for tedious wank?

Come to think of it, that pretty much encapsulates the whole NZMA experience so I shouldn't really pick on PF.

Hoolio   #8   11:11 am Oct 04 2010

Dane Rumble aint so bad. I mean, I'll never go to a gig of his, or buy his music, but compared to the sleezy/smutty soft-core porn charading as pop music that comes out of the US, he aint so bad.

David   #9   11:13 am Oct 04 2010

Have you thought about supporting the Warriors.

Their fan's are constantly whinging too.

PIp   #10   11:14 am Oct 04 2010

Wow - bitter much? This article is a perfect example of how we lop the heads off any tall poppies who might dare to pop up here. I couldn't bring myself to read it all, I was starting to feel ill.


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