What song would you strip to?

19:54, Nov 04 2010

That's the question at the end of it - that's the topic for today. It is probably a hypothetical - unless of course you happen to be a stripper reading this. Then you can just mention your daily (or nightly) soundtrack.

But before we get to that - your list of songs that you would/do strip to - let's back the stacked heels up, ensure all the clothes are on and the dollar bills are still crumpled up in fists, knuckles white (and the bit below the knuckle white too from where the wedding band has been temporarily removed). How did we get to this as a blog-topic?

Well, as I've told you before - and hopefully shown with some of the posts - I'm happy to indulge a reader's suggestion/s from time to time. And the Blog on the Tracks Live Listening Sessions have all presented at least one topic. The inaugural had one punter suggest I write something with the headline "I like your music but I don't like your face" (so I did). We got a bunch of topics about death before and after the Live Listening Session that featured songs about death and murder. And of course just yesterday I announced the winners of a second round of Right This Blog! (see here); this came from the last Live Listening Session.

And at the second event - the subject was covers - one reader, you know her as T-Rex (even if most of you think that a metal-lover called "T-Rex" must be a dude), said to me "you should do a topic: what song would you strip to?"

So that's the back-story.

And then we get to the part where I realise that you have no interest in hearing my ideas for songs I would strip to - nor in wanting to visualise me as a stripper. Well, much as it might be too late for some now, fortunately I have thought ahead.


I conducted, fittingly, a poll.

I spoke to the presenters of TV's Good Morning show. I chatted to a couple of Stuff's bloggers. I asked a couple of people in the music industry...

This is, of course, all just a bit of fun. So I'll tell you now what I told them then - you can imagine yourself (if you like) to be some blonde buxom Botoxe booty-shaker (unless of course you already are, in which case, leaving little to the imagination already it's lucky that you won't be put through a strenuous test of creative thought). You can imagine yourself as one of the Chippendales (again unless you already are, in which case, you'll be staring intently at your own glistening abs most likely. And listening to Usher).

So this is a fantasy-thing. And if it's always been your fantasy to either be a stripper or simply state your preference for a particular song to strip to (either real or imagined) then that's a bonus. If not, dig deep, let's get all cerebral and pick some good songs to soundtrack bumbling around with a trouser-leg stuck on a shoe or a bra-strap ignoring the release-plea.

First up I asked the Good Morning crew. New host Hadyn Jones had no hesitation. Bennie and the Jets was his answer. He told me it would be a great song. He had, he said, imagined it already.

Brendon Pongia picked I'm Too Sexy for My Shirt and/or Back in Black (possibly even a one-two combo). He had, he said, used both as entrance music in his basketball days.

Sarah Bradley was also without hesitation. Pull Up to the Bumper was her choice. I asked if she knew what the song was actually about. She said she did not. I explained. I emphasised the hook-lines about pulling up to the bumper, long black limousines and driving it in-between. She said, "good, I like that". I told her that I would share that with the readers. She said, "good, I like that too".

Then I decided to touch base with a couple of Stuff's bloggers. Jane Yee from The Girls' Guide selected This Is Hardcore - by Pulp. Her reasoning? "It's not that I have aspirations to become a stripper of course, just because that song has that sleazy vibe to it - reminds me of dirty old men sitting in a strip club watching some young thing wrap herself around a pole."

Greer McDonald went with "something slow... something you'd no doubt hate. Off the top of my head, Norah Jones - Turn Me On. Horrid I know." Quick, someone call National Geographic right now! We need some photographic evidence of me and Greer agreeing on something. Greer writes Stuff's Lady in the Red blog - so I thought she'd be picking  this song. But no. She did, as an alternative, suggest Puttin' On the Ritz.

Jan Hellriegel picked Moondance. Then told me there's a joke in there about dancing and mooning. Proving, really, that the best jokes are those you don't need to explain. As far as I know, Jan has come closest of anyone on the list to actually stripping to music. Her own. See this video here (and yes, it is SFW or, in actual English, safe for work).

And Anika Moa had two suggestions. Her first pick was Slow Hand ("by The Pointer Sisters - it's such a sexy song") But she added "if I had to pick a New Zealand song I'd pick Smoke by Dimmer".

Okay, so it might not be much of a poll - but it's better than imagining one with me wrapped around it, right?

You could pick almost anything by Prince, I reckon. Certainly a goodie would be If I Was Your Girlfriend. And, naturally, Cream and Gett Off. And then there's Purple Rain if you're working the late shift; I imagine it to be a good end-of-the-night strip-club song.

Or maybe you think a fun song would be something silly (but still oddly appropriate) like this?

So, now it's your turn. What song would you strip to?

Me - I'd go with something I already mentioned here as a recent guilty pleasure. Yep, Tattoos & Tequila - that's got morally bankrupt/your-father-is-waiting-for-you-in-the-toolshed/paid-own-way-through-college written all over it. Perfect.

Actually, I just heard Randy Newman's It's Money That I Love. I reckon that'd be great.

But what would you choose? Yep, thanks to T-Rex, we are asking today what your stripper-song would be. So what is yours?

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