3rd annual On the Box Awards (Merry Christmas)
We're here - the final On the Box post of 2012, which means it's time for our Christmas tradition: the 3rd Annual On the Box Awards! Here are a few random awards to finish the year, and remember: you can play along by suggesting some of your own categories and winners in the comments section below.
Here are my awards, playfully dubbed The Boxies*. Hey, it's a better name than The Nowies, right?
Single Best Episode:
Game of Thrones 2x09 "Blackwater" - when you can nuke your enemies using medieval technology, the way Tyrion Lannister did here, you're setting yourself up for a memorable hour of television.
Most Agonising 10 Minutes:
This surely has to go to the 10-minute sequence, right after the birth of Baby Sybil, when Mama Sybil went into eclampsian shock and passed away, to the horror of everybody on Downton Abbey. A truly harrowing watch.
Most Annoying Teenager(s):
Dana & Chris Brody from Homeland did little to dispel the notion that every teenager on TV is annoying as all hell. Close second: Charlie & Danny from Revolution, who singlehandedly put me right off that show.
Best 5 Minutes of Comedy:
I was in stitches as I watched Guy Williams read out obnoxious tweets he'd written to the people he'd written them about on Jono and Ben at 10. It went to another level when DJ Sir-vere (about whom Guy had written "DJ Sirvere is the worst stage name of all time.") replied "f**k off, man".
There wasn't a single moment when Boardwalk Empire's Gyp Rosetti was on screen that wasn't tense.
Most Disturbing Birth Scene:
The Walking Dead's Lori is given a caesarean from someone who has never done one before, then unceremoniously shot in the head by her own son. I think it slightly edges out Melisandre giving birth to a cloud of black smoke on Game of Thrones.
Best Show That Was WAY Out Of My Wheelhouse:
Lena Dunham's chicks-in-New-York show Girls nearly cracked my Best Of 2012 list yesterday, which was absolutely shocking to me. Well written, with a cast of fully committed performers, it was one of the best this year.
Best Musical Number:
When Megan busted out a rendition of Zou Bisou Bisou at Don's birthday party during the recent season of Mad Men, I don't think there was a person alive who wasn't taken aback for a moment.
Worst Musical Number:
Did you hear Karen (Katharine McPhee) singing Florence + The Machine's Shake It Out on Smash? If you did, I'm sorry.
Best Performance By An Animal:
The mouse - which I playfully dubbed thespi-mouse - on The Ridges, which stole the first episode and had a better reputation afterward than anyone else involved in the show.
A toss-up between John Campbell's episode-long interview with Kim Dotcom and Melanie Reid's expose with David Bain on 60 Minutes, both of which were riveting when they happened.
Best Ron Swanson Quote:
"When people get a little too chummy with me I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don't really care about them."
Worst On-Screen Death:
LundyDixonWatson suffers an accident at the track and has to be put down, on Hounds. A brave Will announces that he'll bravely do it, requesting a shotgun ... except we hear the shot, then Will emerges from the room to ask for another shot. Laugh-out-loud funny, but totally awkward.
Thanks for reading this year, folks, and for all your comments. Merry Christmas, everyone!
What random awards would you hand out to television in 2012?