Weirdest self-help book titles

Last updated 09:00 19/10/2012

Self-help books are such funny, deeply personal things. You can get help for any aspect of life, from how to be happy to how to stop comfort-eating, heal your emotional self, take control of your life and the bread and butter of the self-help genre, relationship advice.

The relationship advice covers every relationship under the sun, from parents and children to romance, marriage, friendship and even how to get along with the in-laws without wanting to suffocate them with a pillowslip.

As this is Friday, I thought we could get into some of the frivolous (or just plain freaky) self-help titles that can be found on - I admit that I have read none of them, I'm just making assumptions about content purely from the title and sometimes the blurb. Isn't that fun? How To Survive A Robot Uprising

Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them: When Loving Hurts And You Don't Know Why
Um, I'm no self-help guru but if a friend came to me and said loving was hurting her and she doesn't know why, I'd probably advise her to leave the relationship asap. Essentially, this book tells you what to do if you're in a relationship with a man who sounds emotionally abusive and a little deranged, from the description provided. Again, my advice would be to leave. But then that wouldn't make much of a book.

How To Get Your Husband To Talk To You
Perhaps this is the next step after you've married the man who hates women? My spidey sense doth tell me, though, that if your husband isn't talking to you, maybe, just maybe...your relationship is perhaps, oh, on the rocks?

Self Help for the Bleak
"Hilarious mock advice on loneliness, being broke, dating, depression and self-esteem" - my, that just sounds like a little bundle of cheerful joy!

How To Survive a Robot Uprising: Tips on Defending Yourself Against tthe Coming Rebellion
This book sounds kinda awesome. It's written by a "roboticist" (is that even a real job title?) called Daniel H Wilson - and teaches you the fun art of treating laser wounds to engaging in hand-to-pincer combat and current robot prototypes. I mean, we've all watched I, Robot, right? Hey, it could happen!

Conversations with Animals: Cherished Messages and Memories as told by An Animal Communicator
Which pet owner hasn't at some stage, thought that Fido and Fluffy could possibly be trying to say something to you with those big melting eyes and wagging tail? When my cat jumps on my face at 5am and meows insistently, I know that she's trying to say something deep and meaningful. Mostly, "my biscuit bowl is empty", or sometimes, "I brought in a dead thing and left it next to the bed as a symbol of my adoration, p/s: feed me". I could write this book, darn tootin.

Make Love Not Porn
Well...okay then!

It's a Jungle Out There, Jane: Understanding the Male Animal in Your Life
This writer is exploring "the evolution of male behaviour, from the primordial ooze to the post-coital snooze". I have to admit I giggled out loud at this. There may even have been a teensy bit of snorting.

What are some of the funniest/weirdest self-help titles you have come across?

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