Arnie is back!

03:11, Aug 17 2012

It has been nine years since the last movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger in a lead role. It will be a nice round decade by the time his new film, The Last Stand, is released next year.

Think about that - 10 years. There are 15-year-olds walking around who perhaps have no idea that Arnie is an action movie star. A bit like when I grew up in the 1980s and mum told me that Ronald Reagan used to be an actor. Really? An actor?

That's a strange thought.

Anyway, here is the poster for The Last Stand:

Look at the size of that gun. It's bigger than his femur. I bet at the end of The Last Stand there will be a credit that reads: "Assistant to Mr Schwarzenegger's mighty weapon". Also, notice the Chevrolet in the background? That's because Arnie is as American as Apple Strudel. I look at that poster and I think: "Arnie, gun, car, sheriff badge, foreboding clouds. Cool." Yes, ladies, that is how men think.


And here is the trailer:

Cool, huh? Arnie firing a great big machine gun and gruffly spouting lines like "I have seen enough blood and death. I know what is coming." It's like the noughties never happened.

I tell you what though, trailers have changed a lot during Arnie's years as the governator. It is odd watching an Arnie trailer without the gruff voiceover telling you what to think. 

You know, like this:

Also, did you notice in The Last Stand trailer that it seems to be set in a leftover set from the Earth segment of Thor?

Did you also notice that they seem to have surrounded Arnie with younger sidekicks? It's like they are nervous about Arnie's extra years and whether he will still be able carry a big action movie. Does Arnie really need a grinning Johnny Knoxville to feed the bullets into his machine gun while he fires? As you can see in the Commando trailer above, Arnie used to be able to do both those things himself.

Personally, I think it's cool that we have an older Arnie returning to the big screen. Just look at that poster, he still looks awesome. Arnie is about the same age as Clint Eastwood was when he made A Perfect World. It'll be fine.

And anyway, now we have The Expendables franchise, we don't need to shunt our old action stars to a rest home. Stallone went and built one for them.

So, what do you think? Has Arnie still got the chops to carry a kickass action movie? To quote Lethal Weapon, is he too old for this sh**? Are you excited by a new Arnie movie, or is he now an irrelevance? Does that whole housekeeper and secret child thing put you off?

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