A few months back I unveiled my monstrous new machine. It is a formula designed to finally work out once and for all who is the best film director in the world.
It takes into account a director's longevity, productivity, critical acclaim, box office and my view of their movies to give each director a rating.
It is called the Picture Palace Auteur Meter, or PPAM for short. It reduces all the wonder and mystery of great art to a single number.
It is kind of like pinning directors to a piece of card like a 19th century butterfly collector.
Here is the formula:
We start with Tarantino's back catalogue:
2012 Django Unchained
2009 Inglourious Basterds
2007 Death Proof
2004 Kill Bill: Vol. 2
2003 Kill Bill: Vol. 1
1997 Jackie Brown
1994 Pulp Fiction
1992 Reservoir Dogs
That is eight films in 20 years, not very prolific. Just for the pedants, I didn't include Four Rooms because he only directed part of it and this is my machine, so bugger off.
His filmography gives QT a Longevity rating (Lo) of 20. One point for every productive year as a director. Then we calculate his productivity rating (Pr) by dividing the number of films by the Lo rating and multiplying that figure by 100.
Pr = 40
Then we take Tarantino's total box office takings ($592,988,249) and divide that by the total number of films to find his average box office takings - $74,123,531. Tidy.
This is divided by 1,000,000 to create his box office rating.
Bo = 74.12
Then, we take the average critical score for a Tarantino film on Metacritic and Rotten Tomatoes, both websites that take a lot of film reviews and aggregate them into a single score.
So the average Tarantino movie gets 76.875 per cent on Metacritic and 96.5 per cent on Rotten Tomatoes, a very high rating.
Mc = 76.875
To = 96.5
Then I assess Tarantino's oeuvre to give my average rating of his films.
Django Unchained (100)
Inglourious Basterds (100)
Jackie Brown (100)
Pulp Fiction (100)
Reservoir Dogs (100)
Death Proof (80)
Kill Bill: Vol. 2 (60)
Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (60)
Then I add all my ratings together and divide by the total number of films to find a Me rating of 87.5.
Me - 87.5
Here are all the values for the formula -
Lo - No of years between first film and latest = 20
Pr - Films per year divided by productive years x 100 = 40
Bo - Average box office per film - $74,123,531 divided by 1m = 74.12
Mc - Metacritic average career rating per film- 76.875
To - Rotten Tomatoes average rating per film - 96.5
Me - My average rating for a Tarantino film - 87.5
And here is how they look in the final formula, complete with Tarantino's PPAM rating.
So, here is the PPAM Index so far:
The PPAM Index
1. Quentin Tarantino - 76.40
2. Tim Burton - 68.17
3. Oliver Stone - 59.52
My machine says QT is better than Tim Burton and Oliver Stone. I agree with the machine. How about you?
By the way, over the next few months I'm going to take about 100 directors and feed them through the machine in one go so we can get a comprehensive PPAM Index and see what monstrous results emerge. Should be fun.
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