Men like big TVs. I don't know why, but we do.
For the last few weeks I have been bereft of my man cave and the beloved big television it contains. We had to move out of our house for a few weeks so earthquake damage could be fixed. The television went into storage.
We moved back in this week and the television has been restored to its rightful place on the altar, I mean TV cabinet, in the spare room, I mean man cave.
At both ends of our brief exile, two different removal men were separately captivated by the big television. The moment they set eyes on its majesty, a beatific grin spread across their face. Both removal men said something along the lines of: "Ah, it's the jewel of your house, eh?".
I nodded silently and we both stood staring at the television with our arms folded, knowing we were sharing in a moment of male bonding. I imagine in decades past men would have nodded together over a mounted lion's head or a particularly impressive globe-shaped drinks cabinet. "I say, Carstairs, that is a magnificently elaborate cigar guillotine.''
Don't get me wrong. When I say big television I only mean about 42 inches. I bought it last year after saving my pennies for some time. It was a big purchase, but one I have never regretted. A big telly, a Blu Ray player and surround sound speakers maketh a man cave. Sometimes, when I sit there watching a movie, I think it might be better than the cinema. The image is so crisp and the jug is so close. At any moment I can pause the film to make a cup of tea and some toast -something that would cause major disruption at the cinema.
My partner, the Essex Princess, thinks of this space as the tiny spare room where we keep our fresh laundry, but to me, it is a veritable picture palace. I may have to push the laundry aside so I can make space to sit on the sofa, but that doesn't matter. There's a cinema paradisio in my beautiful laundrette. It's about as close as you can get in adulthood to a fort made of sofa cushions.
But why does a big television hold such allure for men? What is it about a big slab of shiny technology that appeals to us so?
Men respond to big televisions the same way those apes responded to the monolith in 2001: A Space Odyssey.
In fact, here is some footage I managed to capture when the television was first delivered to my house:
As you can see, it was all very exciting.
So, I'm glad to be reunited with my television once again. It will be fun to catch up with all the new DVDs I have missed over the last few weeks. I'm sure to write about them here, so stay tuned.
But, what about you? Do you find that fascination with big tellys tends to divide down gender lines? Is your partner obsessed by the flat screen or bafflingly incurious? Post below.
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