Gossip: Extreme makeover and Illuminati
It's a right royal week in the gossip mags, with Wills and Kate getting the builders in, and George looking set to star in the next Dan Brown novel.
Extreme Makeover: Royal Edition is taking place at Anmer Hall, the second home of Prince William and Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge.
The Queen gave them the house on her estate in Sandringham, and is also reportedly footing the $3 million bill for the renovations.
The do-up isn't even particularly extravagant, despite the price tag - Woman's Weekly reported landscaping the front lawn and replacing the driveway would cost $1m, with the same amount allocated to replacing the roof tiles.
Kate is set on choosing the colours and furnishings for the 200-year-old house herself, and dismisses the idea the house is haunted, as reported in New Idea.
"She says Anmer Hall has a very warm, welcoming and lovely feel to it and if there's a ghost then it's certainly a friendly one."
Less friendly is the ancient secret society brought into popular culture in Dan Brown's Angels and Demons, which has reportedly threatened George - because his birth cause the entire downfall of the house of Windsor.
The Illuminati are said to have made a secret pact with Queen Elizabeth I to bring satanism to the mainstream, and for Queen Elizabeth II to safely continue the royal rule, the birth of her successors had to fit an agreed pattern.
George being born a Cancer instead of a Leo "will firmly break the occult agreement between Lucifer and the royal families", according to the website Hollywood Illuminati.
"If Prince William does not kill [George] or if Queen Elizabeth does not leave the throne and reset the cycle, Prince William's child will not only bring down the royal families but a great uprising by the people will slaughter them."
Having already perfected the "one is not amused" expression with remarkable panache for a baby, we can only imagine the scowl on George's wee face when he hears about this one.
In romance news, it's Splitsville for Julia Roberts and Danny Moder after 12 years of marriage, according to Woman's Day, quoting sources close to the star.
Miranda Kerr has been spotted cosying up to 33-year-old Charlie Goldsmith on Sydney Harbour, and Woman's Day thinks they're smitten, but New Idea quotes Goldsmith as saying the pair are "just mates".
And Drew Barrymore has a new addiction - her family. The 39-year-old star who famously had her first cigarette at 9, drank alcohol at 11, and was snorting cocaine at 13, is now glowing with happiness in new family photos featuring their latest addition, 1-month-old Frankie.