What the Kiwi gossip mags say

BY CHRIS SCHULZ

He snores, waxes his chest, enjoys regular colonics, loves Mexican food and has a secret snack stash of Gummie Bears next to his bed. Tom Cruise, this is, allegedly, your life.

This week's edition of Woman's Day reports all those details and more about the world's most famous Scientologist-with-a-sweet-tooth, and says wife Katie Holmes is gearing up to write her memoirs about her three-year marriage with Cruise now that her 100-page marriage contract has expired.

That expose could be worth up to $20 million, WD reports, especially if it includes allegations that that Cruise likes to parade around the house in his uniforms from ageing films Top Gun and A Few Good Men.

Reliving his glory days is one thing, but that book could be worth even more if it includes intimate details about the celebrity couple's bizarre love life. You might want to go to your happy place for a bit.

"He likes to get wild everywhere - even on airplanes and in bathrooms," an insider tells WD about Tom's frisky exploits.

"He likes Katie to dress up for him. Tom loves it when Katie wears something sexy, especially red nighties."

At least he doesn't ask her to dress up as a giant Gummi Bear. Or does he?

Meanwhile, Anna Paquin is preparing for her wedding to her True Blood co-star Stephen Moyer, reportedly in just four months. No, there's not going to be a vampire theme - the pair are set to have a low-key event in Mexico, WD reports.

"It feels organic," Paquin says of the couple's wedding plans. "It's more about being family than becoming Bridezilla overnight and wearing some big meringue wedding dress. That would scare the shit out of me."

Wearing a wedding dress scares you, Anna, but dating a 173-year-old blood-thirsty vampire from another century is sweet as? Your priorities are out of whack.

Elsewhere, Woman's Weekly fires up by putting two - yes two - redheads on its cover: A top-heavy Nicole Kidman, and a beaming Maggie Barry, who has just turned 50 and finds four pages devoted to the topic.

Barry flagged plans for an afternoon tea party and decided to "celebrate it" in style.

"I thought, 'Blow it, I'm going to have a proper party with a jukebox and dancing, a good knees-up," the broadcaster tells Woman's Weekly.

She called her party a "knees-up". Be very, very glad you didn't get an invite to that nana-fest.

Back at WD, 7 Days funnyman Jeremy Corbett has his Christmas holiday planned out already - he's going to be trying for a baby with his wife, Megan.

Friends, don't drop in unannounced this festive season or you could be in for a nasty surprise. Or a nice one, depending on how much of a perv your are.

"I told Jeremy on our first date that I was born to breed," Megan tells WD, and the pair say they are hoping for a Christmas baby after two years of unsuccessful attempts and an operation to remove a benign tumour from Megan's uterus.

Let's hope Santa's Little Helpers can sort them out and not just drink all their milk and cookies like normal.

Finally, the quote of the week comes from Kristin Davis talking about the new Sex and the City movie in New Idea: "It's like condensed soup. It's different and adventurous and rich," she says.

Erm, it's Sex and the City. Flag the soup and give fans what they want: Weird outfits, expensive shoes, at least two weddings and Samantha in some ridiculous sexual situation. Only then will they be happy.

* What do you think of the stars in this week's mags? Post your comments below.

- © Fairfax NZ News