What the Kiwi gossip mags say

BY CHRIS SCHULZ

Free plonk, great food, drunk bridesmaids, leering uncles and constant cleavage. Everyone loves a wedding, so get ready to gatecrash TVNZ sports presenter Toni Street's Taranaki nuptials.

If you're asking, 'Who?' at this point, you're probably not the only one. Street is TV One's roving sports presenter infamous for asking an Irish runner what it was like competing against so many "black men" at the 2008 Olympics.

Street has married a North Harbour rugby player - duh - and she tells New Idea her halfback husband Matt France is "perfect" and their wedding day was "full of love".

"It was exactly the way I wanted it," she tells NI. "It was like a wonderland - very pretty, very feminine. I love my bling, so there were sparkles everywhere."

Calm down, Missy Elliott. But it wasn't just the bling that stole the show - planes flew loop-de-loops, guests dined on chocolate Kahlua mud cake, and Street was wearing a blue ribbon garter and Jane Yeh. The dress designer, not Jane Yee - the pint-sized former telly presenter. That would be weird.

Heck, even the groomsmen were given flowers, but judging by the snaps they're not too sure how to hold their bouquets properly. Lift them up from your crotch, guys -you're not standing in a urinal.

Elsewhere, Woman's Day scores exclusive pararazzi-style photos of a toned Tyra Banks and several bikini-clad models involved in the latest series of America's Next Top Model currently filming in New Zealand.

And they thought they'd escape the press in lil' ol' New Zild. At least it gives our photographers a break from trying to snap Mike Hosking holding hands with Kate Hawkesby.

Over at Woman's Weekly, Bernice Mene scores the front cover slot for, er, well, um, nothing really. Apparently the former netballer is spending Christmas with her family.

Woah. Are there still fish in the sea too?

"The thing I'm most looking forward to is eating traditional Samoan pineapple pie," Mene tells WW. "It's pineapple on a shortbread base, with custard and meringue - it's amazing."

After tempting our tastebuds like that, at least give us the recipe guys.

WW is so fascinated with what Kiwi celebs are doing this festive season, they interviewed a whole bunch of them. It's riveting stuff.

Keisha Castle-Hughes will "eat a lot of food," Karen Olsen is planning to cook a turkey stuffed by her father, Tina Cross is having roast chicken, Shortland Street star Anna Jullienne will be "eating at various locations," Carly Flynn is looking forward to eating "lots of good food" and Hilary Barry will spend the day - you guessed it - "eating".

They sound like they've never eaten a proper meal before. Tuck in guys, it's Christmas.

Finally, the quote of the week comes from Jennifer Lopez, who has admitted she reads all the gossip mags: "Yes, I do, and anybody who says they don't is a liar."

Hear that, gossip mags? When you say Lopez' butt is too big, her music sucks and her husband Marc Antony's moustache makes him look like a porn star, she's heard it all before. Better come up with something new to say.

* What do you think of the stars in this week's mags? Post your comments below.

- © Fairfax NZ News