What the Kiwi gossip mags say

BY CHRIS SCHULZ

OPINION: It used to take a celebrity death, a superstar break-up or Rachel Hunter farting to score a five page spread in the gossip mags, but times are tough these days so Shortland Street weddings will have to do.

That's how much coverage Woman's Weekly dedicates to Shorties star Anna Jullienne - murdering lesbian nurse Maia Jeffries - and her nuptials to her "soulmate", commercial property manager James Kermode.

Why the special treatment? Perhaps it's to fit in as many warm fuzzies as possible about her wedding - a summer stunner on Waiheke Island that involved three bridesmaids, a two-tier fruit cake and enough ex Shorties stars to spark a reunion.

"I'm looking forward to doing everything in life from now on with James," said a smitten Jullienne, a concept shared by Kermode.

"I can't wait to have Anna by my side, for my whole life," he tells WW. "I just love to spend time with her ... Is that cheesy? It is! It's terrible, but it's true."

Yes, it is cheesy. Let's hope Rach eats some beans next week.

Meanwhile, TV3 reporters Kate Lynch and Andrew Gourdie serve up their own brand of brie in Woman's Day with their holiday engagement.

The pair spend every waking moment together, living, working and even going to the gym as a couple. Lynch even claims she didn't apply for the coveted Nightline presenting position because they would then have had different schedules.

"I can't stand to be away from Andrew," Lynch tells the mag. "When I'm home by myself I can't wait for him to walk through the door. He is the most loyal, sensitive, caring, loving and exciting person I've ever met - I can't wait to marry him."

Let's hope Lynch can lose that pained expression for the wedding pics.

Elsewhere, WD features a bikini spread from Nadya "Octomum" Suleman - a mother of 14, including octuplets - and includes her bizarre diet and exercise routine. When we say don't try this at home, we really mean it.

"Four days a week I wake up at 2am, eat, drink coffee and go to the gym," Suleman tells WD. "There I work out with a trainer for approximately three hours, focusing on a different part of my body each day.

"It takes incredible self-discipline and self-control to go exercise in the middle of the night when you're supposed to be sleeping like everybody else."

Or being downright super-bonkers. One question WD doesn't ask is, 'Who's looking after the children during these three-hour marathon work outs?'

Won't somebody think of the children?

Finally, the quote of the week comes from overnight pop sensation Kesha, who denies reports she is besties with Paris Hilton: "No. We are not friends ... I barfed in her closet."

Let's hope she splashed some on her shoe collection.

*What do you think of the stars in this week's mags? Post your comments below.

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