What the Kiwi gossip mags say
One's a well known and heavily tattooed Kiwi songstress who swears like a trooper. The other is experimental circus performer 'Azaria Universe' who is pregnant with the couple's first children.
Together, they're Anika Moa and Angela Fyfe, two self-confessed "gaybos" who are expecting twin boys together and have told all about their pregnancy battles and IVF treatment in this week's gossip mags.
The couple - let's call them 'Mangelfyfe' until someone thinks of something better - only had one round of IVF before Christmas and Fyfe ended up pregnant with twins. They call it their very own "Boxing Day two-for-one special".
Here's some early advice, kids: Fyfe is the serious one, and Moa is the fun one.
"I'll be the 'take them to McDonald's' mum'," Moa tells Woman's Day. "Angela is an amazing cook, so she'll make them lots of good food and healthy vegetables and get them into spiritual training, and I'll be like, 'Yeaaah! Let's play the drums."
Fyfe looks at it a little differently: "You'll be the swearing and burping mum."
Hey, every child needs to learn how to burp the alphabet. It's a pre-req.
If that's not enough baby news for you, WD has an interview with Renee Wright, the TVNZ weather teleprompter reader girl who is 20-weeks pregnant with her husband of less-than-a-year, project manager Charlie Waide.
Waide doesn't stick around for WD's photo shoot, but there might be a reason for that - Wright kept the baby news a secret from him because he's such a gossip. Time to hand in your man card, Charlie.
"I love Charlie to pieces, but he just can't keep good news a secret," Wright tells WD.
"He is so honest that he'll often blurt private things out by accident. And it was such early days that I didn't want him to inadvertently tell someone."
So it makes perfect sense that Wright would blurt it all out to a gossip mag. They don't gossip at all.
Elsewhere, she may not be pregnant, but after topping the scales at 100kg, former international netballer April Ieremia is starting to feel like she might be.
New Zealand's answer to Kirstie Alley is getting set to write about her weighty issues in a new column for Woman's Weekly, and if you're feeling a sense of deja vu, well, that's because Ieremia's been here before.
She lost 35kg in 2005, but has given up the fat fight since 2009 and currently weighs in at 100.6kg.
But she doesn't want to weigh the equivalent of three Posh Spice's - she wants to be 70kg. Take her shoes off of her, and that's only two Posh's.
"I don't have weight problems, I'm just lazy," Ieremia tells WW. "I grab and run when it comes to food. For an easy dinner, it will be a takeaway - Indian, McDonald's, Fish and chips - something quick ... exercise is too hard."
But today is the day that the infamous bunless Double Down burger launched - you don't want to put your new diet and fitness regime off till tomorrow, April?
Finally, the quote of the week comes from MasterChef finalist Jax Hamilton: "I tucked a fudge ball up the leg of my shorts, wandered into the living room, coughed and dropped it out of my shorts onto the floor. Then I turned around, picked it up and took a bite."
Sounds like the show's final challenge is going to be a riot.
* What do you think of this week's gossip mags? Post your comments below.