What the Kiwi gossip mags say

Oh how the mighty have fallen. The once untouchable Tiger Woods has found himself a triple gossip mag cover star - and not because he has a talent for hitting small balls long distances.

Woods has found himself effectively stuck in a sand trap, starring on all three Kiwi gossip mag covers in identical photos next to headlines like "Sordid double life exposed," "Tiger's mistress tells all" and "Tiger begs his wife to stay".

The story so far: Woods has admitted to "transgressions" in his marriage after a late night car accident in his driveway in which his wife Elin Nordegren was reportedly brandishing a golf club.

Gotta stop leaving those lying around the house, Tiger.

Woman's Day has information and interviews with three of up to seven woman - including waitresses, hostesses and, gulp, a porn star - alleged to have been having relationships with Woods.

The most interesting is an in-depth chat with Jaimee Grubbs, a 24-year-old cocktail waitress who claims she had a three-year relationship with the world's best golfer and is "bitter" about allegations of other mistresses.

Move out of the way, Rebecca Loos, Grubbs is in town.

Grubbs claims she had 20 sexual encounters with Woods, the last one in October when they "cuddled, watched Angels and Demons, then had sex. It was very romantic."

Dan Brown is an aphrodisiac now?

But Grubbs, who claims Woods kicked her out sometimes because he likes to sleep on his own, has apologised for their alleged affair. Sort of.

"I do apologise that (Nordegren) is going to read this," she tells WD.

"I hope he can forgive me for doing this (interview) and I know he probably can't. Whatever happens with Elin, I hope Tiger and I can reconnect and remain friends."

Someone's been taking HBO telly series Big Love too seriously.

Elsewhere, there are plenty of reasons to check out New Idea, including pics of buffed up Auckland chef James Klisser when he weighed a whopping 150 kilograms but now resembles Twilight star Taylor Lautner, a snap of Katy Perry dressed as Mrs Claus and a great "Where are they now?" feature on former Baywatch stars.

For the record, Pamela Anderson is reportedly on the verge of bankruptcy, David Hasselhoff is allegedly battling the bottle, Jeremy Jackson and Gena Lee Nolin had separate sex tape scandals, Yasmine Bleeth was arrested for cocaine possession and Alexandra Paul has starred in several film flops.

Baywatch: Where the bikinis are skimpy, everything is better in slow motion and stars are born. And die.

Elsewhere, if you're wondering what Kiwi stars are up to for Christmas - don't lie, you know you are - WD has all the answers.

Breakfast presenter Pippa Wetzell will be eating taro and chop suey, Sonia Gray has bought her first Christmas tree, Joe Cotton will be "putting on at least three kilos" and helping to organise her mum's wedding, and Neil Waka will be getting sand in his thong at the beach. Watch out for crabs.

Finally, the quote of the week comes from Maggie Jones, the Coronation Street star who played wisecracking character Blanche Hunt for 35 years: "Good looks are a curse. You and Ken should count yourselves lucky."

That was to her telly daughter, Deirdre. Shortland Street needs one of those.

* What do you think of the stars in this week's mags? Post your comments below.

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