Film review: The Expendables

BY GRAEME TUCKETT

The posters don't do much except draw your attention to the fact The Expendables has an extraordinary cast.

Stallone, sure, but Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis too?

It's actually a bit of a con. Arnie and Brucie do pop in for a cameo, but it's all over in about two minutes.

Thinking about it now, I'm not sure Schwarzenegger and Willis were even in the same room as each other when it was shot.

Editing sleight of hand is a wonderful thing. I'd have to watch The Expendables again to be sure, and, frankly, I can't be bothered.

Stallone and Schwarzenegger's much-hyped "first scene together" has some novelty value, but neither of the big lugs can act worth a damn, so any witty repartee hits the floor with a dull thud.

If the boys had chosen to wrestle, or snog, or anything other than talk, maybe the scene would have been worth the hype. But as it is, De Niro meets Pacino in Heat this ain't.

Which leaves us a Stallone movie, with a bunch of notable support players, but still needing to get a few basics such as script, acting, and action right to pass muster. The Expendables mostly does kind of OK.

The story has Stallone's "elite mercenary force" (yawn) hired to take out the dictator of a small island nation in the Gulf of Mexico.

Stallone, best mate Jason Statham and a crew that includes Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren and professional fighter Randy Couture fly into action against villains featuring wrestler Steve Austin and, funnily enough, Lundgren again.

Match-ups ensue, guns are displayed with a loving attention to detail that suggests product placement, things blow up, and a lot of over-ripe banter is mumbled by Sly and chums. In other words, it's exactly what you were expecting.

But surely, if Stallone has taken the trouble to put together this fantastic ensemble cast, couldn't he also have found a decent scriptwriter? He or his mates have been in First Blood, Predator, Snatch and The Last Boy Scout. Great films all. Why couldn't Sly have given one of their scribblers the call-up?

Oh well, it is what it is. And what it is, is pretty average. Eric Roberts can convey more larceny and lechery with one raised eyebrow than most actors will summon in an entire career, and he looks the part of the villain here. While Mickey Rourke, still in his Ironman 2 hair extensions, is always fun to watch.

But, overall, The Expendables feels like a wasted opportunity.

It's a competent genre seat-filler, but no more than that.

The Expendables
Director: Sylvester Stallone
Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Latham, Mickey Rourke
Rating: R16
Time: 98 minutes
Trailer: Flicks.co.nz

* What did you think of The Expendables? Post your comments below.

- © Fairfax NZ News