International Comedy Festival
You've never met me. But I've watched you from afar. It's been like a journey, only you've had no idea you're on it with me.
The first time we met was in the living room of a South Canterbury house. You were on the television, I was on the sofa.
Last night, we were in the Opera House in Wellington.
There was electricity.
You made me laugh.
Sure, I had to share you with the rest of the audience, but it didn't matter. There are no regrets on this comical journey. Nor am I the jealous type.
You did well. This was a laugh-out-loud experience like no other. Perhaps you should consider putting a warning label for the incontinent on the ticket.
I'll never look at a blown lightbulb the same way again and you've made me think about my sense of smell more than ever.
The one thing that threw me during your performance, though, was the guy in row C of the dress circle. He barely moved. Never laughed. Not once.
Did you notice him too?
Just think back to your advice to us: "You'll tune in and out during this show. Don't worry, I do it too."
I didn't tune out, Jimeoin.
Okay, maybe I did for a few seconds. But I'm like that with everyone.
Don't take it personally. I still think if people ever get the chance to see you in the flesh, they shouldn't let it pass.
Like a fine wine, you get better with age and every fan of comedy should see you at least once in their lives.
And finally, Jimeoin, let's not treat this as a goodbye. Let's just say "see ya later".
Mind out for those blown light bulbs,
- (Live Matches)