Funniest Edinburgh Fringe joke 'sucks'

05:17, Aug 19 2014
Tim Vine
WINNING JOKE: Comedian Tim Vine's vacuum cleaner joke has taken out the coveted title of best joke of the Edinburgh Fringe.

A joke about a vacuum cleaner has been voted the funniest joke at the Edinburgh Fringe comedy festival.

Comedian Tim Vine dusted off his joke book to come up with a one-liner voted best wisecrack of the festival, PA reported.

"I decided to sell my Hoover ... well it was just collecting dust," the joke went.

A Hoover is a popular brand of vacuum and what people in Britain commonly refer to a vacuum cleaner as.

The joke attracted almost 20 per cent of the votes in the competition, run by comedy television channel Dave.

It was Vine's second win of the award, his first was in 2010 with the joke: "I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again."

He was also runner up in 2011, 2012 and 2013.

It was the first time a previous winner had taken out the award.

Vine told PA he was surprised but very delighted to have won the award again. 

"This is the second time I've won this award, but I guess nobody loves a repeat more than Dave."

Dave is a male-orientated channel, which plays a lot of repeat content from shows such as Top Gear. 

Dave general manager Steve North said it was great to see a range of established and new comedians in this year's top 10. 

"The award celebrates the fantastic range of comedy on offer at the Fringe, and Tim has once again proved he is king of the one-liners."

Ten judges scoured the festival for a week before nominating their three favourite jokes for a total of 30 jokes.

The public then voted on those to find the top 10.
However, not all of Vine's jokes drew laughs from the crowd.

His wisecrack: "I'd like to start with the chimney jokes - I've got a stack of them. The first one is on the house," was ranked as one of the worst jokes by the Edinburgh judges.

Another was Leo Kearse's one-liner: "My mate sat on my pumpkin. He butternut squash it."

Top 10 best jokes of Edinburgh Fringe (although they don't seem nearly as funny when written down)

1. "I've decided to sell my Hoover ... well, it was just collecting dust" - Tim Vine

2. "I've written a joke about a fat badger, but I couldn't fit it into my set" - Masai Graham

3. "Always leave them wanting more, my uncle used to say to me. Which is why he lost his job in disaster relief" - Mark Watson

4. "I was given some Sudoku toilet paper. It didn't work. You could only fill it in with number 1s and number 2s" - Bec Hill

5. "I wanted to do a show about feminism. But my husband wouldn't let me" - Ria Lina


6. "Money can't buy you happiness? Well, check this out, I bought myself a Happy Meal" - Paul F Taylor

7. "Scotland had oil, but it's running out thanks to all that deep frying" - Scott Capurro

8. "I forgot my inflatable Michael Gove, which is a shame 'cause halfway through he disappears up his own a***hole" -Kevin Day

9. "I've been married for 10 years, I haven't made a decision for seven" - Jason Cook

10. "This show is about perception and perspective. But it depends how you look at it" - Felicity Ward 

Honourable mentions

"I go to the kebab shop so much that when they call me boss in there it's less a term of affection, more an economic reality" - Ed Gamble

"Leadership looks fun, but it's stressful. Just look at someone leading a conga" - James Acaster

"I bought myself some glasses. My observational comedy improved" - Sara Pascoe

What is your favourite joke?