Red Nose Day: Bad language for a good cause

Cure Kids ambassador Oliver has teamed with comedian Guy Williams for this year's Red Nose Day.

Oliver, 22, from Christchurch, was diagnosed with acute renal failure when he was 3 weeks old.

At 18 months, he became the youngest person in New Zealand to have a kidney transplant, donated by his father, Mike.

Oliver has a blood test once a month to check his kidney function, has regular outpatient visits to Christchurch Hospital and gives himself an injection twice a week for anaemia.

His only kidney is failing and he hopes to get another transplant soon from his mother.

About one child in 30 - roughly one in every classroom - lives with a life-threatening illness or genetic malformation.
Cure Kids has had several world-first breakthroughs.

For the 7 Days Red Nose Day Special on Friday, the show has been extended to an hour.

Besides making people laugh, it is also designed to encourage viewers to donate money to Cure Kids.

We have asked Oliver and 7 Days' Williams to interview each other.

Ollie asks Guy:

Where do you get all your jokes from?
Excellent question. I get most of them from 1001 Dirty Jokes, a book I found at a flea market in Pukekohe. The rest of them often come from a place of anger and hate. That's an embellishment, but I do often find that some of my favourite jokes come from a place of frustration. You find something that annoys you in everyday life and you write jokes about it to help relieve the frustration. Right now I'm writing a lot of jokes about those toaster conveyer belts they have at hotels.

On an average night, how many times does your director have to say "cut" to you for all your bad language while filming?
Never. We don't normally censor bad language, but we do censor offensive jokes. A meaningless S word is fine. It's when a joke is making fun of a minority or a disadvantaged group that it's not cool. That's something punters on the street normally don't understand. It's the victim of the joke that's more important than the language.

What is the funniest thing you have made Ben and Jono do?
I maintain that Jono and Ben are still yet to do anything funny.

Why do you keep on torturing Chang on The Edge?
Most of the time we torture him we don't even realise we're doing it. The other day he broke a TV in the studio playing a pinata game with a wooden stick, so we invented "Chang the human pinata" as a punishment. Little did we know that Chang was terrified of heights and couldn't even be lowered into the pinata position from the crane. Does this make us sound like less terrible people? No? OK, we torture Chang because it's funny.

Out of 10, where do you rate yourself on the Funny Scale?
Three laughs out of 10.

You are so tall. Do you hit your head on everything?
Ha ha, yes. I live every day in fear of low-hanging ceiling fans.

Guy asks Ollie:

What's the toughest part of living with dialysis?
The toughest part of living with dialysis is that I need to go on it every night for nine to 10 hours until I receive a transplant. I am never able to go away on a holiday like a normal person.

What's the easiest part of living with dialysis?
There is no easy part of living with dialysis.

What was the toughest part of filming a video with me?
You kept changing the script on me with the lines that I had learnt and you kept screwing up. It was funny though.

Have you ever used your condition to jump a line at an amusement park or as an excuse to get you out of trouble?
At school I used to use my kidney failure to get myself out of running cross-country and doing athletics because I sucked at both of them.

Would you rather have arms for toes or toes for arms?
Arms for toes. Who wrote these questions?

Is it hard living as a Parramatta Eels fan in New Zealand?
I am a die-hard fan and I don't care about getting a hard time for supporting the Parramatta Eels. I have their shorts on as I email this.

What should every New Zealander know about working with a charity?
Well, for Cure Kids, the money that they raise helps fund research for kids like me with health conditions. Cure Kids also took me on holiday where I got to meet up with other sick kids.

Do you give money to people collecting with buckets on the street?
If it was for a good charity and I knew they did good work, then I would donate.