Real Housewives of Auckland delivers endless awkward drama
OPINION: It's Real Housewives time again which means its time for our favourite blinging ladies to do more vacuous navel gazing while also sweetly stabbing each other in the back.
While the rest of us Auckland housewives meet up and discuss the property market and the best daycares, these women can't stop arguing over what kind of money is good money.
(Hey housewives! It's all just money and you've obviously got too much of it.)
They also tackle those wang dang doodle issues of our time, like can you be an animal activist and still wear mink coats? And isn't it low rent to flaunt your sex toys next to the canapes at a dinner party?
* Recap: Real Housewives of Auckland, Episode 3 - 'the best Pussy Galore party ever'
* Recap: Real Housewives of Auckland, episode 2 - 'This is Gilda's town'
* Real Housewives of Auckland: Episode 1 recap - 'Sweetie, get over it!'
* Real Housewives of Auckland: Just how glamorous and well-connected are they?
* Real Housewives of Auckland: drama spills off-screen
* Real Housewives of Auckland's Angela Stone responds to 'plus-size' jibe
* NZ reacts to Real Housewives online
I'll have to get some rich people to enlighten me.
When they aren't getting their personal chefs to whip up cutesy lunch treats, these millionaire housewives seem to spend an inappropriate amount of time straining to be civil at awkward cafe dates with their frenemies.
As a slightly more humble brand of housewife than these woman, I'm desperately time poor so calling up the people who make me most want to poke my own eyes out with the nearest dessert spoon is the last thing on my mind when I get some 'me' time.
Once all the mundane housework is done and I can finally leave the baby with my husband or time outings in between baby's naps, I barely have a moment for the people I actually like.
But who knows, if I had as much money as Angela, who is about to drop a cool $7m on a house, then maybe I'd have time for torturous coffee dates with the woman who keeps telling me I'm fat and to pull my tummy in.
Millionaire housewives must think differently to the rest of us because they keep going back there.
Maybe if I was cashed up instead of balancing an Auckland-sized mortgage on one ordinary salary, I would also incessantly pester the stony-faced woman I called a "...." at dinner and "a little runt" at a charity gala, desperate for her to believe that I'm a real human.
Sound like fun? Not really. Maybe too much money makes you desperate for drama.
Does Angela need something else to do with her free time instead of chasing around people she seems to despise and who despise her right back? She is more than welcome to come over and cook dinner for me (bring your rack of dresses Angela!).
And instead of revelling in winding Julia up, couldn't Louise maybe take over ironing some of her own tea towels?
In the meantime we get to look forward to the women spending even more time together on what will undoubtedly be an incredibly tense impromptu holiday to Port Douglas.
I want to give these women a shake up.
Life is way too short to spend it with the ones who make you eye roll.